Scribes – March 11th 2005
Dear Fluffy Pants,
According to a recent Scribes page, October 19th as it were, there are only six of us Banjo fans still out there, for those of you who are saying that I read the original e-mail wrong there is the writer of the e-mail and “the other five Banjo fans”. Now these games were my two favorite third person adventures, until Conker came around. So there’s one fan, the second would have been my little brother whom actually bought the GBA version. The third fan is one of my good friends, she has told me on numberous occassions that she LOVES Banjo-Tooie. Finally, the fourth of this rag-tag team is Mr. Quizno, he was the one who wrote you spurring on my little counting game here. So I must know, who are these last two elusive people. They must join my army, The Banjo Liberation Front (yes, we do get a lot of calls from the South and we have to inform them that Banjo is a video game character and not a musical instrument). Actually the main point of this letter is to ask you to please not scrap Banjo from existence, I love him and so do many people out there. I didn’t name everyone I knew who liked the games, just those who were obsessed.
Yours truly,
The Guy Right Behind You!!
“Numberous occassions”? What are them, then?
Over to the head of the GbtG team for numerical clarificationalisation: “The other two elusive fans are myself and my mother – who used to like nothing better than gardening while listening to Mr. Kirkhope’s finest tunes on CD. We would love to do another Banjo outing, but with game development costs and team sizes spiralling out of control, we would have to ask for significant contributions from Banjo’s six fans if we were to do a third game. I would imagine it would cost somewhere in the region of £15 billion and 30,000 people to create such a masterpiece, but fortunately my mother says she’ll get the ball rolling by giving me an advance on my pocket money. So we currently have 50p.”
Lieber Leigh Loveday,
In the last Scribes (Or possibly the one before – Ed) it seemed like if you promised to send some food of your country to Rare, the chances of getting your letter published drastically increased. Thus, if I’ll read this in the next edition of Scribes, I’ll send you a Wiener Schnitzel.
It might help to get noticed if you pose interesting questions, too, and that’s why I’ll start off with 2 burning questions I’ve been dying to get answered for the past 5 editions of Scribes, and that’s probably a time span of a few decades:
001) Perfect Dark – The Movie: Has it ever been in development and will it hit cinemas eventually? Or were the rumours of a PD movie/TV series as fake as the “reasons” for the war in Iraq?
010) Rare merchandising: You did a survey about it a while back and even though you’ve got MS’ immense financial support, we still don’t have our RCP90s and Jinjo-shaped lava lamps.
Further remarks:
011) Add fertility and dark strive to the list of PD0 multiplayer maps.
100) For the soundtrack of Killer Instinct 3, engage bands like Cradle of Filth, Children of Bodom and Dark Tranquillity.
101) And finally I want an explanation from Duncan for the attached RPA. A friend of mine (guess his name) wanted to push his Perfect Dark mission time. That’s why he started some mission (I think it was dD Research) and left his N64 on for a couple of days and nights (NOT 68 YEARS), with this being the result.
Awaiting sarcastic yet informative answers,
fraggingBrain
You want an explanation from Duncan? Why don’t we just get Duncan to answer every single one of your questions, would that make you happy? Eh? Yes? You know, that’s a damn good idea.
“a) At one point during the development of Perfect Dark we were looking to get an American actress to do the voice of Joanna Dark. We were too busy trying to finish the game to follow it up, unfortunately.
“b) If you want an RCP90 I’d suggest joining a police force in the US, where SWAT teams use the FNP90, which is remarkably similar to the RCP90 while obviously being fundamentally different. Your honour.
“c) Er, no. And er, no.
“d) Not my ‘area’. You’d better pass that one on to the team leader of the KI3 project, Leigh. [muffled laughter]
“e) Time slip. Call Professor Quatermass. Apologies if you thought I would be informative at any point – I can’t imagine where you got that idea. I suspect very strongly that the programmer in charge of doing the clock committed an error that registers as highly on the ‘f**ked-up-royally scale’ as rogering Prince Phillip in broad daylight in the middle of London.”
Dear Rare,
I tell you something. Grabbed by Ghoulies is very good game. Same makers as Banjo and Donkey Kongs that were good! Make me so happy I give big hug, Ha Ha, yes?
Banjo started as Dream, eh? Dream started with boy lead character, yes? Is boy from Dream same boy as one from Grabbed by Ghoulies?
Thank you for time.
Heinz
“Thank you for your kind words,” respond the Ghoulies boys gracefully, “it’s not every day that we hear from someone who has played Ghoulies – let alone likes it. Yes, Banjo did start out as Dream and did indeed have a boy lead character in it. But it wasn’t Cooper from Ghoulies – it was a younger chap with a rubbish wooden sword and a dog. Who got replaced by a rabbit with a dog. Who got replaced by a bear with a dog. Who turned into Banjo with a bird. So now you know.”
Dear Scribes,
There is still a huge empty hole in my heart where Nintendo Rare used to sit. I was actually on the verge of suicide when me 64 broke and I was forced to sell all my old Rare classics, the only thing that stopped me was when I asked myself “Did MS obtain Rare to stamp out its brilliant games?”. Of course not! Rare is still Rare, that’s all that matters, I still haven’t bought a ‘Box yet, but I will once the real Rare magic flows through the controllers and out of my TV screen (I am, of course, talking about Battletoads, PD, Conker, Kameo…). But I did not just email you to bleed my PD-less heart all over your feathery quill body, no, it’s quite the opposite (I like to think).
This is the compulsory begging from any Rare-Bboy (that’s a Rare fanboy), PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE port those 64 gems to the Nintendo DS!!! I don’t care who you have to kill, what morally degrading things you have to do to any licence holders, those games have to be on the DS!! GoldenEye, Blast Corps and Banjo fans are what made Rare into what it is today, you owe it to us to let those games run free again! Games that are that old would be no use on the ‘Box, as console owners want cutting edge, but with DS you could satisfy millions of people’s hunger for GE and PD wireless play. For every owner of a broken 64 (those analogue sticks really didn’t last very long either, now that I think about it), for every lifelong fan of Rare, for the human race, BRING YOUR MAGIC TO THE WORLD OF HANDHELD! There is only one other way to play those classic games that are now broken, and Blast Corps with a keyboard sucks, wheras swinging around a huge truck with a stylus would be classic.
And with that note, after my subtle begging, I will eagerly the reply, and will have dreams of those amazing Rare game nights, when my cat would walk over the reset button at the height of GoldenEye multiplayer madness and endless arguments that using Oddjob was cheating (as well as that Moonraker guy).
I bid ye farewell, until next time,
D. Keaton
From the handheld team: “OK, we will convert them all! If it was only that simple. I do agree with you though, it seems a shame not to bring some of these classics to a new market who probably missed them first time around. Just imagine a 16-player wireless GoldenEye or PD, how cool would that be?”
Ye Gods, don’t say that. You’ll only encourage one of those bloody online petitions. I mean, we’re all for killing and moral degradation, but we couldn’t convert GoldenEye even if we wanted to (at least not without years of absolutely hilarious licensing wrangles) and we should probably get PD0 sorted out before we think about revisiting the original. Still, that’s not to rule out the idea entirely, as nothing stays in the past forever in this business. But that’s not a hint either. Stop it! Stop harassing me!
I never had any problems with broken N64 analogue sticks. Mine are hell on the thumbs since one of the sprogs chewed off the rubber tops, but I’ve never actually managed to snap one – not even in a fit of bona fide Backlash Rage. F-Zero GX is currently bringing me very close to grinding a few ‘Cube controllers into the carpet, though.
Hi there, Mr. Rare guy,
About Kameo: what’s with the purple bird I’ve seen in some screenshots? What does he do and is he still in the game? Can you reveal the names of the blue squid, and the small ant that carries a container of some liquid on his back?
When will we likely see what these minor and not so changes are, that you spoke of back in November?
When will we see a new and more up-to-date trailer? I recently watched some of the older trailers of Kameo, and really liked the diversity of characters in those (the New Zealand-style dancing tigers and their wolven counterparts being a highlight). How much of what was seen of Kameo from 02/03 has survived to the current build?
OK, thanks so much, don’t keep me waiting too long to bash those troll heads, y’ hear.
And keep up the good work,
DE
Too many questions to reasonably expect a full set of answers. Still, just out of curiosity, let’s see what ratio of information: disinformation we can extract from the Kameo team.
“All will be revealed sometime in the next five years. The purple bird is probably not coming back – the blue squid and small ant do have names. Back in November we spoke about changes, yes that’s correct. A new trailer… why didn’t I think of that? Keep up the good questions!”
That’s quite a high ratio. Or is it a low one? I never did get on very well with ratios.
Scribes,
I am stuck big time and the answer is probally right in my face but I am currently playing Star Fox Adventures 2002 addition. I am stuck in Cloudrunner city where the take Star Fox’s staff away and I am trying to fiqure out how to do that. When I talk to Slippy he tells me the prision walls are causing interference for him to send down a disquies to get pass the guards and get my staff back, but he tells me “perhaps an explosive touch to make a crack to the problem”
PLEASE HELP ME GET PASSED THIS IT IS DRIVING ME CRAZY, and I have tried everything.!!
Carlie
You haven’t tried learning how to spell ‘edition’, ‘probably’, ‘figure’, ‘prison’, ‘disguise’ or ‘past’ or mastering the basics of punctuation, have you? Go to your room – I’ll let you know when I hear back from someone on the SFA team. Ah, here we go.
“The best advice I can give is… buy a Player’s Guide. The second best advice I can give is, go into the room where there is a vent in the floor from which air will emerge, place an exploding barrel into the air current and it will rise and explode, making a hole inthe ceiling. Slippy can then send down what you need.”
Dear old Slippy, doesn’t he always have what you need? Even if it’s only a smattering of witty banter to lift your fading spirits.
Dear Scribes,
Just a few words from the dynamic duo of father and son, who just this weekend completed, maimed our way through, broke and in all ways possible learned all there is to know of the little-known masterpiece that is Grabbed by the Ghoulies.
The thing is, we should have gone camping. Planned it for weeks but finally decided against it Friday afternoon and made a secret vow not to relent, give up, despair or in any way admit defeat until we’d achieved our goal of cracking this sucker (the game IS somewhat easy, but that’s totally besides the point).
The thing about camping in Denmark is that, well there’s no way around it, it’s just not that exciting. The country’s mostly flat, there are no mountains, there are hills (in fact calling them hills is a bit misleading, they’re more like grassy knolls really), no canyons, valleys or even gargantuan fjords like they have in Norway. No rivers or hugely interesting lakes to put up your tent along the banks of. There ARE streams but they’re smallish in a minute kind of way. The woods are quite alright, but they’re probably quite damp and cold right now, and thus not really that inviting.
Where was I? Oh yeah, the game. We had a great time. In fact, I can’t remember having had so much fun playing a game for ages, and neither can my son. Smashing our way through hordes of beasties with frying pans, boards etc. was just pure fun – and it felt great. Please be sure to pass on our thanks to the talented people behind the game. The Rare magic’s still very much intact.
One last thing. My son just informed me, that he’ll be going as a Ninja Imp for the school Christmas party.
Cheers,
Noah and Michael
See, it’s not every developer’s website that offers you basic lessons in Scandinavian topography in between the stuff about their games. And I’ve just realised there’s been a proper team response for every question so far, instead of a load of made-up rubbish from me. And we’re not stopping yet! Feel the power!
“Wow! Two separate people in the same Scribes that like Ghoulies – it’s like Christmas come (very) early! Glad you liked the game Noah and Michael – it’s nice to see fathers that can use video games to spend time with their family, rather than being locked up alone in little dark rooms playing mind-altering violent thuggery as the mass media likes to portray. I actually recall my parents trying their hand at gaming back in the early 1980s, but their skills on the Speccy’s Horace Goes Skiing left quite a bit to be desired.
“Camping in the UK sounds better than Denmark, as we do have a few hills, valleys and the like. But you also have to have a horrendously untrendy fleece top, big clumpy boots, a beard, a blantant disregard for private property by marching all over it on ‘rambles’ and to be able to sing awful camp fire songs to fit in properly. I actually went camping in Wales last year but I spent more time in the pub than my tent. And of course it rained.
“Good luck to your son and his Ninja Impishness. We at Rare like to dress up occasionally for our Christmas parties and we’ve seen people come as lobsters, Daleks and even a bottle of vitaman tablets. Disturbingly, we have also experienced men dressed as (not very convincing) women and Grant singing to us all wearing a plastic arse.”
Dear Scribes,
I’ve got a question about Conker.
This may not seem like such a big deal but… is there an animation in Conker that shows the Tediz or Squirrels hopping into a vehicle. I loved the weapon changing animation for the characters themselves (it adds to the flavor to see a Tediz sling a sniper rifle over his shoulder). They have vehicle boarding animations for other popular games (Halo) and it just added to the “coolness” factor.
Just curious!
Daniel
Well, yes, there needs to be some kind of boarding animation or you’d just see the character teleport from the boarding icon into the driver’s seat – which might work when the perspective simultaneously switches from third-person to first-person, but that’s not always the case (the R-Hog and Toad vehicles retain a third-person viewpoint). And I’m reliably assured that each class will have its slightly different animation, so there you go, you’re all set.
Dear Scribes,
Okay now, this has been bothering me for quite some time. I’ll do my best to avoid a numbered list.
What, may I ask, is the big finger-licking deal about the Killer Instinct franchise? Not trying to cut you guys, but it wasn’t all that much greater than any other fighting game. But still, everybody has been asking since before I can remember for another sequel. All of the time, on various Rare message boards, on Scribes, in Tepid Seats, everywhere, and you always reply with some smart-arsed remark. Why do they want a KI3 so bad, anyway? I’m interested to know your opinion on the subject. And if you can arse a couple of other people, please do so. I don’t care if it’s your bloody janitor, I just want to see if I’m alone in my dissent.
Also, can you believe (and I’m serious; I don’t think these people were joking), that some people actually decided to go look for BK3 in Grabbed by the Ghoulies, due to Mr. Mayles’ crack about it? I mean, Stop N Swop was fun to look for, but really – can’t we all move on?
This one goes to DKC‘s designer (or if he can’t be arsed, maybe his brother), what are your opinions on Nintendo’s new game Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat? I’ll admit I’ve played Donkey Konga, and despite my hatred of it, it was fun, but come on – Jungle Beat has no excuse. Even if it’s fun, it still looks like a drugtrip. There are multiple pictures that support this theory, so it’s not like I’m just insanely rambling.
One more thing, if you’ve ever seen the movie The Goonies, did you find it comical that they named the pirate One Eyed Willy?
Thank you, goodnight.
Tucker Beard
Can of worms! The whole KI3 issue is horses for courses, I suppose. If you’re a fan, you clamour for new info; if you’re not, you couldn’t care less. Personally I used to be a big KI fan back in the day (I wangled my way in here just in time for the sequel), but while I can still sympathise with the viewpoint of those ‘patiently’ waiting fans, any series begins to lose its appeal after you’ve fielded the several hundredth futile, angry demand for new information. Still, I’d be as interested in seeing KI3 as anyone else – there’s just nothing to tell at the moment.
Now, let’s see what our Ghoulies designer friend has to say about the BK3 ‘controversy’…
“No, I didn’t expect anyone to look for BK3 in Ghoulies, but then again I didn’t expect the ashes of the ashes of the ashes that was once Stop n’ Swap to keep being raked over. The guys at the Rare Witch Project have come pretty close to solving that, but of course we’re not going to reveal the whole truth to them as it would spoil their fun. They’ll need all their hacking prowess if we ever release BK3 as not only will it connect to the first two games, but WOPPA from War Games and the NASA mainframe. Maybe even Captain Skyhawk 2.
“As for DKJB – it’s awful. Well, actually it’s not – as from what I played at E3 in 2004 it was very enjoyable, but made you look like a bit of a idiot judging by some of the suited types with no co-ordination that were playing it. I just applaud them for trying something different.
“One Eyed Willy? I don’t know what you’re talking about. Next you’ll be telling me about certain characters that didn’t exist in Captain Pugwash…”
Dear Scribes,
Whatever happened to all of the wallpaper and character art for your older games? You used to have several high-quality wallpaper renderings for the Donkey Kong Country franchise (along with many other titles). Are you no longer licensed to post that material on your site?
What about the Banjo-Kazooie art? What happened to that?
Stephen A. Barrow
I don’t think Nintendo have specifically ordered us not to use the DKC stuff, but we feel it’s best if we leave that sort of thing up to them and concentrate on the franchises we own. The N64 Banjo games don’t have pages any more because, well, they’re old, their sections didn’t get revamped alongside the current site design, and there are always more pressing things to do. I don’t think we had any Banjo-Kazooie wallpaper, anyway – just a few slightly rubbish ones for Tooie. Hang on, we didn’t have DK64 wallpaper either. You’re telling porkies!
Dear Scribes:
I have been playing some of the Battletoads games recently and really enjoying them. My question is this: why is the Game Boy Battletoads (released at the same time as the NES Battletoads) different from the NES version, yet it has the same name (Battletoads). Then, about two years later, Battletoads in Ragnarok’s World is released for Game Boy, but this is just a port of the old NES Battletoads.
Why this confusion with the names? Why not name the original Battletoads for Game Boy a different name or subtitle, because it’s almost like a totally different episode, with different levels (a flying level for instance, which is in no other one, and it also lacks the ‘snakes’ level. and it has a jet ski level… etc. etc.). I really liked the first Game Boy Battletoads. And I liked Battletoads in Battlemaniacs.
I realize that was all kind of lengthy so edit it if you must, and then I also have another question: who did the music for Battletoads? Was it the same composer for each Battletoads game? Sometimes I seem to notice slight stylistic differences in them.
I’m sorry if this letter to Scribes isn’t cocky or insulting enough or whatever, I’m not a very good actor. I can’t even say “arse” just to get the letter in!
Nonnarbic
Good question, and one I don’t think we’ve actually tackled before. Which isn’t something you see every day in Scribes. So without further ado, let’s head over to the Battletoads programmer for the full lowdown…
“The reason that the first Game Boy Battletoads game is different from the NES one is that I’m an awkward arse. Whenever anyone asked me to convert a console game onto Game Boy I expressed the opinion that we’d be better off writing a new game in the same vein, and that the extra resources to do that wouldn’t be much greater than for doing a port, whilst not limiting your market by reducing its size to those people who hadn’t just bought the console game. It was a point of view I expressed in 1990 over Battletoads, and again in 1994 when I was asked to port DKC and instead wrote DKL for Game Boy. I still express that view today and the sales of the games support it.
“To be honest though it didn’t occur to us to give it a different title from the NES game, even though it was different. In hindsight we probably should have done. Anyway, later on a decision was made to port the NES game, and the circumstances at the time sadly dictated that it was a better option than writing an original one. Problem was, we had already used the name on the first game. Oooops! So we called it something else just to confuse everybody.
“I’m really pleased that you liked our old games. I must admit that the first Game Boy one was my favourite out of the ones I wrote. I really enjoyed the creative process I had with Kevin (the artist) when we designed that game, it’s one of the games I’m really proud of writing, along with DKL. Dave Wise was the musician.”
Hello,
Why don’t you guys just admit it. The reason you delayed Kameo was so you could add a male playable character to the game. You realized that if you launched as it is now, you’d have had a Beyond Good and Evil on your hands (great game, but I really think the main lead as a female just didn’t interest anybody, and it sold squat).
It’s a shame that’s the way the world is, but gaming fanatics, after all, are probably a 98% all-male school. And for the most part, we don’t want to “play” as women, because it feels for some reason like we’re playing with dolls.
So spill the beans, so I can leak it to the internet message boards.
Keff C
I assume you asked permission from the global gaming community to speak on their behalf? Did you? Eh? Did you? And the Kameo team have further probing questions for you, too: “So you know a lot about playing with dolls then? You like to ‘play’ as a woman… I think you just need to come clean and tell your parents all about it. You do that and we won’t tell you anything about why Kameo was or was not delayed.”
Dear Rare,
Thank you for making PerfectDark. My dad and I play it a lot. I do have a few questions though. #1: What is behind the door in Carrington Institute across from the Firing Range and how do I open it? #2:Where do you get the ideas for the guns and stuff? #3:When will PerfectDark0 hit the market? My dad and I can’t wait to play it. #4: Where do you get the ideas for the levels? I noticed that Reiner of GameInformer Magazine is in the game. Did you guys work something out?
Thank you for moving to the XBOX. My friends and I liked playing your games on N64. (Except for me no one else has a GC!) When you switched to making games for XBOX you granted my birthday wish. I was wondering you were going to rerelease PerfectDark for XBOX. One of my friends has never played it before.
Will there be a PerfectDark movie? That would be cool. Plus a lot of people who bought the game would go see it. Thanks again for PerfectDark!
Your gaming fan,
Kira N. Wallenius
More quotage. Here’s MisterBotwood, and he hasn’t even madefun of the bizarreway you keep squashing PerfectDark down into a singleword. What’s the bigidea? It’s not OutRun, you know.
“1) I can’t remember. It’s been so long. Is there a door there? Maybe it’s the front door that there’s no graphics beyond, which is why the door doesn’t open.
“2) Some of them are cool ideas that we’ve had; some of them are influenced by films; some of them are influenced by graphical effects that programmers show us.
“3) I really have no idea (and I couldn’t say at this stage if I did know).
“4a) Mostly they come from writing a list of level locations down on paper and then saying, ‘Now, that’s got to look impressive. How do we do that?’
“4b) At the E3 before the game came out there was an after-hours press schmooze where any journo that was there had the option of having their photo taken to be put on a head in the game. Your man Reiner there knows where the best parties are at.
“4c) We don’t have any plans to release PD on Xbox, since much of the potential revenue from that would go to the lawyers who worked out whether we could or not.
“4d) There’s always a chance that a PD film may get made some day, but right now things are a bit quiet.”
Dear Sir,
Grabbed by the Ghoulies was a fantastic game. I enjoyed it all (even Challenge 21, where I had to force a screwdriver into my ear to distract myself from the anguish it caused), but I weep for the characters that we’ll never see again. I’m aware that it didn’t generate many sales, but these fictional individuals shouldn’t be punished for the poor taste of the mass market. I mean, there’s so many unanswered questions. Where did Dr. Krackpot go? What of the unspoken but smoldering sexual intensity between Fiddlesworth and Babs Buffbrass? What’s next for the Baron?
It then struck me that the GBA team missed a wonderful oppurtunity to reintroduce Von Ghoul in the Banjo-verse. Recently, a little something called Banjo Pilot was released, where the characters mull about in their own personal airplanes. Personal airplanes? WHAT ABOUT BARON VON GHOUL? His entire gimmick was that he built himself into a small plane, and I should know, because that d*ck killed me (excuse me… made me faint) so many times with that propeller in Challenge 21. As the image made by Ben Kosmina that I’ve attached shows, the Baron fits in rather well with Humba Wumba and these other jokers.
I plead with you not to make this mistake again. It’s time to reward the scrappy handful of Ghoulies fans out there, and this being the Internet, I figured out a surefire way to force you to cave in to our demands. I created a petition! That’s right, it’s the “Insert Mr. Ribs Snugly Into the Banjo-Kazooie Franchise Petition”. You see, Mr. Ribs was surely the greatest Rare creation since Jolly Roger, and while there may never be a proper sequel to Ghoulies, you could at least ease our pain by making Mr. Ribs a Banjo-Kazooie character. He fits in fairly well with the style of those games, and while he may be from a poorly-selling title, I’m sure that his genius will shine through and reach a whole new audience.
http://www.petitiononline.com/MrRibs/petition.html. 14 signatures so far. That was enough to get Tiptup his own game, right?
Oh.
SirSlush2
P.S. Banjo-Kazoomie was a better title.
More from the Ghoulies boys… they’re busy this month.
“Krackpot cheaply ‘escaped’ as his proposed boss battle with himself and ‘Krankenstein’ was tragically shelved. Fiddlesworth and Babs probably hooked up after stealing the Baron’s silver, and as for the Baron – the retirement home for unappreciated main baddies in commercially challenged games is where he’ll be heading. You’ll also recall his plane was smashed so he couldn’t take part in Banjo Pilot even if he wanted to, despite him not being in any of the Banjo games, either.
“Mr. Ribs is indeed one of our most loved characters and it would be absolutely criminal if he couldn’t make a reappearance sometime soon. Maybe he’ll depose that long-in-the-tooth and sooooo ’90s Mr. Pants and take over our website, waiting several years until he gets his very own game?”
Mr. Pants, ’90s? Are you kidding? He’s got more in common with the Neanderthal cave painting era.
PS Slush, you pain me. It was so not.
Mr Loveday I presume?
My my it has been a long time since I visited this site, I frequented in the GoldenEye, PD days and then dropped off just before Star Fox was released. So I’m looking around and then I notice MR PANTS HAS HIS OWN SECTION?!?!. I remember when Mr Pants abounded in Scribes, hell he was Scribes’ bread and butter.
I’m glad to see that Mr Pants has blossomed like the delicate (and heavily aromatic) flower that he is, but what has happened to all the Rubbish Picture Attachments?
Anyway I’ll take my leave now, I have to head to bed and dream of a new JFG game, and then maybe I’ll wake up and have some JFG coffee? Time will tell.
Elrando
Mr. Pants has always had his own section, what are you talking about? He’s just swapped his survey clipboard for a more high-profile Pantsboard these days, which is only fair. He still crops up in Scribes occasionally, as do the RPAs, though they’re not as frequent as they once were (possibly not such a bad thing – debate amongst yourselves).
Never mind JFG coffee, what about the Alpine Trail Ridge Inn JFG Condo or the Japanese Friendship Garden of Phoenix, Arizona?
Dear Rare,
Im rather worried about wether i’m gonna see the new conker game on gc because ive got the old one on nintendo and im hooked. if u dont bring the new 1 out on gc ill go completely beserk!!!!!!!
And ill give u good reasons to release it on gc.
1) Nearly every gc owner will buy it as they’ve already felt the thrill of conker before making u loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaads of money.
2) ther’s no reason hy conker shouldnt reappear on nintendo sofware the last 1 was on nintendo and most of your other games appear on gameboy.
that is 2 solidly good reasons and remember if u dont not only i will lose it but thousands of other gc owners will too
Alex
I’m sure I don’t even need to bother doing this, but just in case there’s anyone else out there who’s suffering a similar allergic reaction to their medication as Alex, observe: “Nearly every gc owner will buy it as they’ve already felt the thrill of conker before”. This presumes that the current GameCube userbase is made up of almost the exact same people as the N64 userbase at the time of Conker’s release. It also postulates that everyone who owned an N64 at that time also played Conker’s Bad Fur Day. While you may think that both of these circumstances are likely, what they actually are is a word that rhymes with ‘frolics’. Near enough, anyway.
2) Again, this may be unnecessary, but: “ther’s no reason hy conker shouldnt reappear on nintendo sofware”. Well, yeah, there sort of is. It begins with an M and ends with a Icrosoft Game Studios Owns Rare. The Game Boy situation is an entirely different kettle of Prozac.
So I’m afraid you’re just going to have to go ‘beserk’ after all.
PS Send pictures.
Dear Scribes,
Hello. First of all, I like Rare. You all make some fun and quirkily humorous games. I just got Donkey Konga and was happy to hear the DK Rap theme was included. I was upset however to learn that the last verse, the one about Chunky, was missing. Was this removed because Rare still has the rights to Chunky? Even though Donkey Konga has the Rare versions of Donkey, Diddy and Cranky, I couldn’t help thinking that they were lifeless shells of what they would have been if Rare had been involved.
Also, I really liked Conker’s BFD. I thought it was great. I loved the story. People think it’s dumb, but I thought it was [esp. towards the end] very emotional. Great job. When N64 games went on clearance at K-Mart, I bought like 8 copies of CBFD for $3.99 a piece. I now “share the love” with people who have never played it before.
Good Luck and Best Regards,
Jarrod Willard
By “share the love” do you mean “make a gargantuan profit from”? If so, can’t blame you. It’s a more appealing price than the $60/$70 that others claim to have seen it still retailing for, on a previous generation system, four years after its release.
Now here’s a hoofing great response from the head of the DKC and Banjo teams on the global phenomenon that was the DK Rap.
“It’s about time we had a letter about the infamous DK Rap so we can set the record straight and calm Grant down after all these years (he still gets worked up about it). This was originally suggested as a joke, which became a very lighthearted rap in keeping with the theme of the game it went in. The ‘rappers’ were actually DK64’s designer and DKC’s lead engineer! But unfortunately it was to receive a barrage of abuse from the reviewers and public alike, who didn’t understand it was supposed to be a bit of fun. I think they wanted ‘gangsta’ rap on the ‘streets’ and didn’t like our jokey effort – so we chalked it up to a British sense of humour that on this occasion didn’t work.
“Rare doesn’t own the rights to Chunky, so I don’t know why his verse was missing. Hang on, maybe I do! I seem to recall that one of the lyrics in Chunky’s verse was ‘he’s one hell of a guy’. Apparantly Nintendo received complaints abouts the inclusion of the the word ‘hell’, so perhaps that’s why the lumbering oaf’s effort was axed.
“I think DK and Diddy are pretty easy to include in any game, but Cranky relied so much on our own cynical, British memories of early video games that it is really difficult for anyone else to make him work without just retreading old ground. We had quite a few ideas about what we would do with the old moaner, but as you can imagine they have been slightly shelved now.”
Hey there,
I want to know more about the employees of Rareware. For example, with Halo 2, it’s like Bungie just autotopsied themselves to the public (not that I’d want you loveable little guys to be cut open). But I mean, for a company with such curious prestige, it’s weird that aside from you, we know next to nothing about Rareware. So, I have compiled the most basic list of Rare-related questions (in ultra efficient number format suckas):
1. I would imagine it would be fun to snicker at all of EA’s failed attempts to recreate a Bond game with that rockyoursocks off kind of power… care to comment? Especially after ‘coincidentally’ naming their latest release GOLDENEYE.
2. What’s Rare’s collectively favorite band? I know in my department at least, we all listen to Radiohead… as long as its not ‘Disturbed’ or any of the other jockrock bands that America is pooing out recently, I’ll be happy.
3. Segways. Pixar’s got them, why don’t you?
4. I know it’s been asked before, but who’s the sadistic bastard who came up with that whole Cassandara’s necklace password Perfect Dark thing? If it’s just one man, would you mind kicking him for me? Thanks.
5. One more time? Pretty please?
6. 3 candid pics of random people working? That’d be sweet.
Thanks for the time you guys have spent making fantastic games. I’ve been a die-hard ever since DK Country on the SNES. Was upset at first that Nintendo didn’t keep you come hell or high water, but it’s their loss. Just release another Perfect Dark game before the world ends would you?
Kick that guy one more time.
Fishie Fishkins
1) EA is bigger than Jupiter and no doubt employs about 17 billion lawyers. I’ve got a washing machine repair bill to pay. No, I don’t think I have any comments just at the moment. Besides, Duncan says that “commenting on a game you haven’t played makes one the lowest form of cad”.
2) “Collectively favorite band”? Grammar offences aside, that’s near-impossible to answer. I know of at least two other people here who can claim an intimate familiarity with the fine works of Marillion, if that helps. But I won’t out them in public.
3) Honestly? We’re not that bored with walking short distances yet.
4) & 5) What, you mean Duncan? I can’t risk it – not after we made him sit and watch the new Don “The Dragon” Wilson/Cynthia Rothrock ‘star’ vehicle Sci-Fighter a couple of weeks ago. He’s a fragile young waif at the best of times, and since then he’s been teetering right on the edge.
6) Oh, alright. If you insist. One, two, three.
Haha, check THIS OUT:
http://www.petitiononline.com/12345ew/petition.html
Yeah, that’s what I thought, you can’t deny a whole 141 signatures. That’s like, a WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD MAYBE!! OMG OMG, YOU’RE ALL SCRREEWWED NOW UNLESS YOU MAKE ME BANJO 3.
Well, make it for me anyway. For Xbox 2.
Esualc Atnas
Two rubbish petitions in one Scribes? I just knew I was jinxing myself earlier on. Well, at least we could combine them into one and replace that long-in-the-tooth and sooooo ’90s Kazooie with Mr. Ribs for Banjo 3. Just imagine the sheer joy of using the Talon Trot with Mr. Ribs going “diddly deeee” instead of Kazooie making that stupid squawking noise.
Dear Scribes,
I’d love to say how brilliant you all are at Rare and how fun and exciting your games are. But I bet you’re stick of those crappy emails, so I’ll tell you a story instead.
Once upon a time, I was playing along on my PC when all of a sudden it exploded. To fix it, I’d have to buy a new motherboard which would take me a while since I didn’t have a job at the time. During my days of much boredom, I decided to bring down the NES for a bit of gaming time travel. After playing many classics, I found one game which stood out from the rest. It was called Time Lord. I didn’t know who it was by at the time, nor did I remember what it was about. Blowing the cart I whacked it into the NES to find that I had not played this in a very VERY long time. Playing through the first few levels I soon began to remember how frustrating it was.
After a few days of hardcore NES gaming, I soon found myself at the second level ready to fight the boss. As the evil Mexican guy approched, I thought this would be a walk in the park since he had such a simple attack pattern. However, I soon noticed my health being zapped to nothing every few minutes. So he beat me. Time to try again… He beat me again… And again… Until I was on the urge of getting the cheat device out, but I couldn’t win that way. After all, it was cheating. So it was the final showdown… Me and the Mexican guy… Seriously, I shot this guy over and over and he just WOULD NOT DIE! I was fighting the evil for a stupid amount of time to no avail.
The PC was fixed much later. Then I found your site after playing the jawsome game called Grabbed by the Ghoulies. But scrolling down the Timeline page I noticed that sinister game standing out in front of me. So here’s my questions. Did Rare REALLY make this evil game? (If so, it’s not just Cooper on the top of my list!) Is it possible to beat the Mexican guy?! AM I GOING INSANE?!?!
Mr. Grimm
That’s a lovely story. Perhaps Fate is instructing us to rerelease/remake Time Lord with the slogan “Does for Mexicans what Resident Evil 4 did for Spaniards”.
Sadly I have to break the news to you that the main man behind this 8-bit classic is no longer at Rare, but I did get hold of someone who tested it at the time, and he solemnly agrees that it was “a bit of a hit and miss affair in terms of gameplay and difficulty”. There were a few other things he said as well, but this is a family site.
To tell you the truth, comments like this make me want to crack open a copy of Time Lord and taste the raw game design evil for myself, but as my gaming skills have now degenerated to the point where I spent most of Metroid Prime’s second boss battle falling in the water and crying like a little girl, I just know nothing good would come of it.
Dear Scribes person,
I realize mum’s the word on any DS games afoot, but any word on if and when Banjo-Threeie is to be released on the fabled X-Box? I do not yet own an X-Box, but I do own an N64, and for many years, Rare games have been 100% of my top five game list of all time– both Banjo 64 titles at the top two. Anyway, Conker: Live and Reloaded is ALMOST an incentive enough to buy an X-Box, but the key word is almost. I did love BFD, but I’m a Banjo fan at heart. Anyway, I digress; the bottom line here is: Is there ANY hope whatsoever of seeing the shirtless bear and loud-mouthed bird in a third adventure? And don’t foist any Grunty’s Revenge stuff on me– I want my 3-D action.
Forever young,
Rage Trebonius Bat
A cold, inexplicable sensation of dread settles upon me as I pass this one over to the head of the Banjo mob.
“We have absolutely no idea when Banjo-Threeie (which of course it wouldn’t be called anymore because that’s what everyone expects) will be released. Some guy sent us in a home-made Banjo game once, so maybe we’ll just release that instead. In fact, I was so impressed we tried to send him a rather nifty Banjo & Kazooie sculture/model thing we had lying around but he never got back to us with contact details. So… how about an impromptu competition to win this beauty and annoy Leigh by filling up his Inbox? [I knew it. – Ed] The first person to send us the correct answers to these hastily concocted conundrums will be sent this glorious effigy (it would be nice if someone local won it because the delivery will be cheap):
“Question 1 (easy) – Does Canary Mary cheat in Banjo-Tooie’s Cloud Cuckooland race?
“Question 2 (medium) – What is the name of the toilet in Banjo-Kazooie’s Mad Monster Mansion?
“Question 3 (hard) – Before Rare, Rare was Ultimate, but before Ultimate, there was ACG – what does ACG stand for?
“Closing date for competition is two days after Scribes is posted, as I’m sure someone will get it before then. If not, I’ll just have to sell the model down at Measham car boot sale.”
UPDATE! Yes, it was a real competition; yes, it is over; yes, we do have a winner (Mr. Zachary Glanz – congrats).
Hey there!
Firstly, I must congratulate you lot on the demo-version of Conker: Live and Reloaded. What a laugh.
As we in the gaming public know, Conker: Live and Reloaded will have the N64 classic Conker’s Bad Fur Day included in it. Will it ALL be on the one disc?
And regarding GBTG, where the Hell can I find an MP3 version of the ‘Jessie and Clyde’ music? (It’s the tune that plays in Krackpot’s Lab when the gamer has to find two keys.)
Cheers and can’t wait for the full version of Conker!!!!!
C R
If C:L&R is more than one disc, no bugger’s told me about it. So there you go. With regard to Ghoulies MP3s, persistent pestering of Mr. Kirkhope has paid off and I now have possession of official Jessie & Clyde tuneage, plus a couple of others. Look at that for fan service. What more could I possibly do for you? Good God, man, put your clothes back on.
Thing is, you’ll have to wait a few days for them because the GbtG Downloads section is going to need a spot of HTML tweakage when I add them to the list, and right now I’m hellishly busy with a manual deadline that was up yesterday. Also, it looks better on the Updates page if I cheaply space these things out a bit. Come on, you know you love the tension – it fills your veins with the SPICY FIRE OF LIFE.
Dear Scribes,
I have two questions to ask of you.
Having been hot-nuts over your GBA offerings since I knew they even existed, I hope you can imagine my disappointment when one of them in particular turned out to be a huge disappointment.
Why on earth did you ditch the voxel engine for Banjo Pilot? What was once a visually stunning air-racer now more closely resembles a Mario Kart clone in which the cars can travel a few feet above the ground.
Was it the framerate? The draw distance? What possessed you to ditch one of the prettiest engines I’ve seen on GBA in favor of Mode7 fare that we’ve all grown sick of?
My second question ties in nicely with the first, as it too regards graphics engines for the GBA. Given the stunning 3D engines in Need for Speed Underground 2 and Asterix and Obelix (a smooth, competent 3D platformer on the GBA… fancy that) have you any plans to produce a new Conker or Banjo game on the GBA, but in true 3D this time? I realize developing such games for the DS would be a far better prospect, but finally seeing decent 3D on the GBA has put ideas into my head that admittedly shouldn’t be there.
Bob Averill
P.S. Put Perfect Dark on DS or I will kidnap your dog.
We covered the whole voxel engine thing last time… basically, yes, the frame rate was suffering too heavily. With regard to the other stuff, I couldn’t say, so allow me to pass you over to Gaz from our esteemed handheld department.
“I have played both games you mentioned, but I think it is really unlikely that we will do anything in 3D on the GBA. It seems a bit pointless now when we could be doing stuff on other platforms in 3D much better.
“As for kidnapping my dog, I think this is quite unlikely as he is a 14-stone Newfoundland who will not move for anyone, including me.”
Oh Mighty Scribes,
About 2 years back I had won delicious Chewits from a contest you ran. You somehow got them to me in the States with no problem around the Foot and Mouth mailing clause… so I know you rule. Well I am in great need from you once more. Is it possible for you to email me the Announcer from Killer Instinct yelling “Ultra Combo” with no music or other sound effects going on? It will complete a wondrous tribute I am making to Killer Instinct, but KI Gold for the N64 you can’t shut the music off, so I can`t record the announcer without the music in the background 🙁 I would like the original from KI 1 the arcade. If you could do this for me I would be beyond grateful, and when I eventually make my way to Europe someday (my girlfriend lives in Taiwan so I’m quite into travelling) I shall shake your hand personally, if I clear through security.
Thanks many times over.
Nathan Quattrini
Clear Rare security? Not likely. The Queen came down here the other day, we kicked her arse and sent her packing.
I’ve made Robin aware of your request, so it now has an official place somewhere amidst the several thousand items on his To Do list. As soon as I hear back from him, I’ll let you know. Probably via the global thought-transference interface that we can expect to be installed in every home by that time.
Chewits compo resurrection! One brand spanking new packet goes to the first person who can identify the deeply, deeply obscure quote in the very first line on this page.
Dear Scribes,
First of all, I just wanted to tell you guys how much I love Kameo. Put it this way – I’d sell my PS2, Gamecube, Dreamcast, Nintendo DS, Game Boy games, and Halo 2 for Kameo. I really would.
Now ever since you’ve changed Kameo (which you shouldn’t have done IMO) you’ve also changed some gameplay mechanics as well. I was watching some gameplay videos from gamespot.com and I noticed in an old video from E3 2003 you had to perform monster specific tasks to capture them and transform them into their true form. Now I was also looking at an interview from this past year and it showed a brief clip of Pummel Weed beating up one of the infant-stage monsters. From the looks of things you have completely changed the way you capture monsters. It appears that all you do is beat them up. Now I know that you took out Meepo, but you could do so much more than just simply beat up the monster. If that is true you ruined one of the most innovative and best parts of the game? Now this is just based on a short gameplay video, but from the looks of things it just looks terrible now. And if this was Micro$oft’s decision, you should tell them to shove it since you guys have been in this industry close to 20 years and Microsoft has only been in it for around 4.
Well, I’m sure Kameo will turn out amazing one way or another, but I’d appreciate it if you could at least tell me that my suspicions about this are wrong. Keep up the good work guys.
Eric, THE Kameo whore
Okay, well, seeing as I’m not going to vouch for any particular feature of Kameo until the final version’s on the shelves and it’s too late for anyone to change stuff, let’s wing this one over to the team and see what they come back with.
“Thank you for your lengthy question. Now as per your very specific request… your suspicions about this are wrong.”
How’s that? What do you mean, you’re not convinced? I’m shocked and appalled by your disloyalty and must demand you stop using the Rare/MGS trademark ‘Kameo’ in your signature from now on. ‘Eric THE whore’ sounds just as good, and you could probably make a better living off it.
Dear Scribes,
I’ve been a huge fan of Rare for years ever since Banjo-Kazooie, and (stupidly enough) I just recently found your website. I was reading through your Scribes section of your web page, and read the one where someone complains that they haven’t heard about Banjo-Threeie for ages (which I was also curious about) and you said that Banjo-Threeie is a unlickable in Grabbed by the Ghoulies. Did you mean the whole game? And if so, WOW, and how do you get it?
Please don’t make fun of me… aaah you’re gonna do it anyway,
Martin Macdonald
As you weren’t the only person to take it seriously, I wasn’t immediately inclined to make fun of you… but then you said ‘unlickable’. Ha ha, Martin said ‘unlickable’ and he thought the Banjo-Threeie thing was real. I bet he’s got wonky eyes and athlete’s foot as well.
Dear Scribes,
I’m SO glad to glad to see more C:L&R; info on X-Box’s site, and I’m loving Gregg’s new look! Now that bony chap looks more aged than ever, very nice. I am looking forward to seeing Mr. Death, Conker, Franky, and the rest on my Box soon! (Pretty Please?!) Now to some questions…
A) Remember revisiting all your old favorite characters from KI Gold, seeing how they’ve done since the 1st KI? Well thanks to those stat/story screens that appear when you don’t touch the Start menu, you do! Point being, We all know who beat who – Jago beat Fulgore, Chief T. beat Spinal, etc. SOMEBODY mangled poor Sabrewulf’s arms! Who whipped the ‘Wulf?! Nice cyber-arm-implants though.
B) I’m getting to the point on this one: Why is it so darned difficult to find your non-Kong GBA games in the stores? I’m sure you’ve gotten complaints for specific games, but why are we having to search so hard for all four THQ titles? (Finding Sabre Wulf was a pain…)
C) Finally, I’ve noticed that some of the animal abilites in DKC2, like Enguarde’s super-stab or Rambi’s charge, were toned down. Why?
Alrighty then, I’m eagerly searching for It’s Mr. Pants, wish me luck!
Until next Scribes,
Zenek
A) While I don’t think I had anything to do with the KI Gold story screens, those results definitely gel with what I remember. I’ll have to dig out the old KI novel files to see who beat Sabrewulf. Let’s see – ah yes, it was Orchid. Or at least Orchid knocked him out of the tournament, but the arm-mangling was all down to the jolly rural lynch mob he ran into afterwards…
“You deserve nothing better, his human soul growled. Your weakness is a menace. All at once he was falling through a cataract of blood, the free-flowing life of those innocents he had butchered. The gore soaked through his skin, sickened his flesh and turned black as it bubbled around his heart.” Blimey, I don’t even remember writing that. Probably a bit dark for teH K1dD13s, eh?
B) The team says: “The distribution is down to THQ. So I can’t really answer this question, you’ll have to ask them.” Personally I’ve been looking all over the Net to try to put together a comprehensive summary of which games were released during which month in which territories, and the conclusion I’ve come to involves the phrases ‘all over the bloody place’ and ‘sod it’.
C) More from the team: “The super moves were toned down as we felt they were a bit too powerful in the SNES version, so we tweaked them a little.”
Lovely Day, isn’t it Leigh?
Anyway, there’s a 40-year-old hobo residing in my basement and the U.S. Wildlife Association won’t let me kick it out of its “chosen habitat” but man– the feces is piling up down there! Oh yeah, and he won’t leave until you guys tell him what it’d be like to have Joanna Dark (N64 model) and Mr. Pants in Diddy Kong Racing instead of Drumstick and T.T. . He also wants you guys to send him some “Suga-Jiffz!”… whatever those are…
GET ME OUT OF THIS ARSEHOLE!!!
Paul M. Pasquella
P.S. Right, 45-second ARSE (bear with me, I’ve never drawn one under 30 seconds).
Let that be a lesson to people asking where all the RPAs have gone. And while we’re on that theme, here’s what DKR would have looked like under your somewhat unlikely circumstances.
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