Scribes – May 12th 2005
Hello there Mr. Pan… I mean Scribes guy,
First of all I want say that you guys are quite simply my favorite developers of all time (well, alongside Bioware and Bungie). From GoldenEye to Conker’s BFD to Banjo-Kazooie, you guys have made some of the best games ever created. As a result I had spasmic joygasms when I heard you would be going to M$ and would be developing for my favorite console, so YAY!!!
One question though, I recently heard that you were delaying Kameo and was wondering if it will still be appearing this gen. I don’t mind the fact that you are delaying it but I just want to know what I should be expecting.
Oh, and PDZ is a Xenon launch title right? Don’t worry, you can tell me. Won’t tell a soul. Promise!!!
By the way, Brits RULLLEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Olumide Edu, the biggest Rare Fan in Nigeria
No, not all Brits rule. I can’t let you walk away with that terrible preconception. Just look at John McCririck and Geri Halliwell.
I don’t think we’ve ever been notified of spasmic joygasms direct from Nigeria before, so thanks for that. As for the status of Kameo and PD Zero, at this point in time I’m sure it won’t surprise you to hear that I’m not in a position to say anything, but I doubt it’ll be too long before Microsoft’s room-sized steam-powered cyberpunk press release engine grinds into action to sate your frothing demand.
Flatulence,
I bet you don’t get many emails that open with that. Anyway, just to say that we all know that since you aren’t going to release PD0 this year, maybe not even next, the best way to whip up some frenzied interest in the franchise is to re-release the original in some form. What a shame there is no console or handheld that would be absolutely perfect for such a thing. Oh wait, you could release it on the DS. But for a DS port of PD to work, the DS would have to be perfectly designed for easy multiplayer, which it isn— oh wait, it is. SO, in short, whip out a good, or even a bad, port of PD by the end of the year. You can manage to make a port of a game by then, or if you can’t I am perplexed as to how you have remained a profitable computer game company for decades. Maybe it’s that drug trafficking you do on the side. The only requisite feature of such a port is that it is multiplayer, and preferably able to be shared (so all my penniless friends don’t have to rob a bank to buy a copy so I can play against them in multiplayer) using all those nifty features Nintendo was kind enough to put in the DS.
And just a few compliments to convey my appreciation of your contribution to computer games (and so you put this in Scribes), which has really been huge: GoldenEye 007 is still the greatest first person shooter ever, and I love that cheat in Banjo-Kazooie where Banjo turns into a washing machine (wishywashybanjo or something to that effect?) because once you do it, and then make Kazooie carry Banjo around, and walk up a ladder, it makes it look like it’s a washing machine that carries itself up ladders, which until then was something constrained to the dreams of removalists worldwide. For that, we can all be grateful. And for all those who don’t believe me, go try it out. In the game that is. Don’t try making a real washing machine do it.
I want to have your babies.
Kyle Douglas
PS: Oh, and I am an Australian who has never eaten wittiegrubs. Hell, I can’t even spell it right.
I couldn’t think of anything new to say about the prospect of PD on the DS, so I passed it over to the handheld team, who couldn’t think of anything new to say either: “It would be cool to do a version of PD on the DS, who knows, we might even do it one day!” (But probably not with a development time of a few months or it’d be rubbish, Douglas, you fool.)
Personally I’m still waiting for a real DS killer app before I put my money down, although what I tend to think of as killer apps aren’t killer apps in anyone else’s eyes, so there’s no telling when that might be. Plus I’ve still got a handful of GBA games including FF Tactics Advance at home that I never got around to starting, which will probably double my daily dose of hate mail in itself.
Why would ‘removalists’ want a washing machine to carry itself up a ladder? Do a lot of people have washing machines in their bedrooms? As is the case with a demoralising number of Scribes submissions these days, I suspect you just haven’t taken the time to think your stupid idea through properly.
Dear Scribes,
I recently picked up a SNES with DKC and Killer Instinct. One question begs to be asked. It’s like every question in the infinite universe that could be asked, and it all comes down to one huge question about Donkey Kong Country. Well, two. Who (or what) provided the sound of Klap Trap’s teeth banging, and why is it called ‘Country’ when it’s clearly an island? “The new Donkey Kong game” would have done it for me.
Oh bugger it, we’ll make it three questions then.
Whose bloody idea was it to make the minecart challenge in DK64 3D? It’s clear that the reason for all out heartbeats stopping in the first minecart stage was due to the fact that we couldn’t see what was ahead until the last second. Well, whoever it was, thanks, genius.
Matt S
More explanation, clarification and casual gossip on long-serving Rare employees from the designer of DKC…
“Klaptrap was a certain Mr. Peilio (one of DKC’s artists and still just about alive after working on every DK game since and a load of GBA stuff), who recorded the sound effect by banging his own teeth together exactly like the character. Made me wince. ‘Country’ was the secret codename when the game was being developed, suggested by someone at Nintendo because Rare is in the countryside. It just kind of hung around and got stuck on the end of Donkey Kong to get DKC as you know it.
“3D DK64 cartage would be the work of Mr. Andreas, a rather dubious individual who worked on Banjo-Kazooie, DK64 and now Kameo. He’s also better at soccer than me (but then again that applies to most people). Just don’t meet him in a dark alley…”
Dear Scribes,
What’s Uncle Tusk up to these days? We haven’t heard from him since he used to do a section on the site. Has he retired? Is he currently wandering the London underground aimlessly in a drunken stupor? In any case, please find him and drag him back, as his section was great. I miss his stories of his gigantic kitten, his uncanny ability to help anybody with any game with a helpful “stop being rubbish”.You haven’t seen the last of the cantankerous shrew-killer
Seriously though, what did happen to the Uncle Tusk section? The only thing I can think of is that you’re reluctant to offer help for games on Nintendo systems on your site, but that doesn’t make much sense, since you’re able to freely talk about them in Scribes. Or is there some kind of legal technicality I’m unaware of? Even if this is the case, is there any chance of it reappearing once you have some more Xbox games out? It (rather ironically) gave the site a friendlier feel, as it further distanced it from the typical heartless “corporate” sites, as like Scribes, it gave the site personality and humour.
Monkey Mischief
Ease off the conspiracy theories, would you? It’s nothing to do with any kind of MS-Nintendo rivalry or legal restrictions. Uncle Tusk’s absence during this iteration of the site can be pinned on a handful of factors: lack of time, a scarcity of decent Q&A material back when we didn’t have any Xbox/GBA games on the shelves, and more recently, the lurking fear that another site redesign is somewhere on the horizon, in which case it seems pointless reintroducing Tusk under the current template when we might as well wait for the new one. But if it looks like that’s not happening for a while after all, I might have a rethink. (Of course, you could end up regretting it – I have enough trouble finding the time to deal with Scribes these days, let alone putting aside a few hours to help Tusk with his remedial handwriting.)
Hi There,
I’m a big fan of your latest GBA game Banjo-Pilot. Me and some mates are having a competition to see who can get the fastest times.
I realise you are very busy and have better things to do, but if you get a chance I was wondering if you’d be able to track down a list of absolute fastest times for every Lap and every Race possible. This way we don’t only have each others’ times to try and beat, we can try to get perfect times.
Thanks for your time.
A huge Banjo fan,
Kelvin Getley
Sometimes these things are kept on file, sometimes they’re not. I suppose the only way to find out for sure is to ask the game’s designer…
“Sorry, I don’t have a list of best times for all the tracks, but when I set the time trial Rare Records I did round up the times by adding one or two seconds to the best time I achieved. So try beating the Rare Records minus a second or so.”
Is that any good to you, Mr. so-called Getley Teafolk? Eh?
Afternoon,
I was just checking out the E3 website and noticed Rare is not on the exhibitors list… Now, I have no idea how accurate that list is, or whether it’s this year’s line up (I don’t read too thoroughly) so I thought “Hmm, what a perfect excuse for sending something into Scribes”… so here we are. Is Rare going to be there? And if so, what kind of stuff can I (and quite possibly others) expect to see surface there?
Please don’t make this letter a waste of my time. Thanks. (Unless you don’t answer, in which case my final word would be “PD0” in an attempt to sound like every other letter you receive.)
Liam
How likely is it that Rare, being a wholly owned subsidiary of Microsoft, would have its own completely separate stand at the other end of the hall? I don’t think we ever did that even when we were a Nintendo second party. As for what you can expect to see there… well, I imagine the show will either be in full swing or completely over by the time I get this finished, so there’s no point in me wasting your time by describing this year’s line-up. Body swerve!
Dear Mr. Scribeday,
I was shocked to see my letter on Scribes. It was old, though. Damn. I have some questions about It’s Mr. Pants, one of your greatest Game Boy offerings, ever:
1) In the credits, Mr. Pants wishes to thank Mrs. Pie, Max, and Ania. Who is Ania? I came up with the conclusion that Ania is the name of your wife. How far off the mark am I?
2) After beating all 250 puzzles in IMP!, I go to replay a puzzle in Special or Hard and Helpo doesn’t appear, yet in Easy and Medium, he does. Why is this?
3) Wipeout Special: any advice on how to beat it?
4) Is there any point to Muddle Mode? It’s hard as pants!
5) Do you consider it an injustice that Chris Allcock, the legendary creator of Mr. Pants 2000 and 2001, didn’t appear in the credits?
6) Will my dream of playing Mr. Pants 2000 and Mr. Pants 2001 on my console ever come true?
7) Why no Quest mode? It existed back when it was DKCC!
Thank you for taking the time to read my letter, as well as the folks that made this fantastic game. If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to play Pants Ball.
God Bless Rareware.
Sincerely,
darkmark8 (My name in PD for N64)
P.S. Ted the Boatbuilder. He has a posse. Join us…
1) You’re very far off in attributing the name to me in any way, but we could well be talking about the significant other of someone on the team. Either that or ‘Ania’ is the password you’ll need to access a secret unlockable in the Stop ‘n’ Swap room. (I was told to say that. Don’t hurt me.)
2) Playing on Special or Hard causes Helpo to feel inadequate and curl up in a foetal position in the corner, which is bloody difficult for a lightbulb.
This is where I get out of my depth and hand over to hardcore Pants programmer type Mr. Machacek:
“3) Practice. You really have to learn to use your time efficiently. Each time you clear a shape (even a small one), the clearance sequence stops the clock and gives you a short time to think about where to place the next piece. Clearing lots of small shapes actually gives you thinking time, and is also easier than trying to clear lots of big ones. Also, if you can eliminate a particular colour then you get no more pieces in that colour, thus simplifying the game. If you have an area of really messy dots in two or three different colours, then instead of trying to turn them into shapes, why not just override them altogether with several pieces in a different colour and effectively delete them? While a shape is being cleared, if you can decide quickly where to put the next piece then press the D-Pad in that direction before the clearance sequence is complete, so that your next piece will automatically start moving in that direction as soon as you have control again. You might think it hard to do in two minutes, but I usually manage to complete it in less than 90 seconds and have done it a few times in under a minute.
4) That’s the point. After completing enough of the game to be able to unlock Max’s Muddle, there’s no point in giving you something easy. The sequence of shapes it asks for is always the same, so you can learn this and try and build several of the next shapes at once with the pieces you are given, rather than just dump the ones you can’t use for the current shape in random places on the screen.
5) Not really, no. It’s a hard world.
6) That’s a sad dream, I dream of girls.
7) I don’t remember that. But then I am old.”
Scribes: coincidence or fate?
I was reading the Snippets section in Scribes and saw you say that the 600 AD music (or ‘Wind Scene’ as it is officially titled) is your favorite piece of non-Rare game music. Oddly enough I was listening to it at the time on on repeat since I opened the Scribes page. Skooky huh?
The main point is that there’s an awesome piano remix of it on OCRemix if you don’t already know. Anyway, it falls in second place behind the ending theme for Final Fantasy VI.
Regards,
James
Very skooky. Whatever the hell skooky means. I’ve heard that piano version, it’s not bad… unfortunately I can’t comment on the FFVI end theme as I can’t remember it, though perhaps that says something in itself. Then again, if I based my choices of Great Game Music solely on stuff that’s ingrained into my mind, I’d be voting for tunes from Mr. Do! and the Spectrum version of Thundercats.
Dear Scribes;
Now the delaying has started again, the complaints about Rare’s way of handling things keep growing. Personally, I don’t care much, but I would like to know something about it.
In response to a letter in the previous Scribes I read:
“These things happen. Sometimes it is largely perfectionism on our part, but usually (including this particular occasion) there are other important reasons beyond that.”
The part about perfectionism caught my attention. It made me wonder: When you guys play a game when it’s finally released, do you, at some points, think “This was well worth the delaying”, or is it just minor things you want to improve before releasing a game?
Another question: I really liked the music in Conker’s Bad Fur Day. I recall reading somewhere the tunes for Heist and Pooland were performed by a jazz orchestra? I don’t remember where I read that, it could be on this site. Anyway, is this true? Because it sounds very good and non-computery.
Also, I’ve never seen any other games where Robin Beanland has composed music for (maybe I haven’t paid enough attention during game credits)?
That’s all for now. Thanks for reading this,
Iain
Usually games are delayed because they’re just not ready. Yeah, it sounds obvious – but if, say, a multiplayer mode is only half-working, it’s not a question of whether or not the game can be released, it just can’t. This is usually how our perfectionism ties into it, with us wanting to include as many features as possible to make the game a complete package and eventually risking a deadline for it, rather than us simply saying “the game’s finished but we demand another two months to make the border around this menu screen look all shiny”. Changes to the franchise (SFA, Banjo Pilot) or the destination platform (er… some other games) can also be major factors in delaying a game.
Robin and his crazy-hoss surname have both been at Rare for over a decade, providing lighthearted musical accompaniment to several thousand games in that time. Probably. KI, KI2, JFG and Sabre Wulf are other names from his portfolio which may strike you as fleetingly familiar. In response to the jazz orchestra question, he says: “All MIDI files, we couldn’t afford the cartridge space to include live performances but I always try to make stuff sound as live as possible. The first trick to achieving that is not to use quantize (time correction), and to approach the parts as a live musician would – for instance, when you’re laying down a part for a wind instrument, make sure you put gaps in where the wind player would take a breath.” He’s a cunning swine, that Beanland.
Dear Scribes,
I was wondering about why the most recent Star Fox game was made by Namco and not Rare. The game was alright but they didn’t put as much effort into the project as they should have. Did Rare sell the Star Fox license or is Namco just using it?
Will Rare be making a new Star Fox game anytime soon if Namco was just using the license, because they kind of screwed it up….
SaikyoNoSenshi
P. S. How old is Fox McCloud and will James McCloud ever be an unlockable character in versus. Where is Bill and Cat, I’d really like to know what happened to them after Star Fox 64.
Rare sold the Star Fox licence to Namco for SIXTY ZILLION Icelandic kr?nur during a secret industry auction in a rather spacious bunker under the Lystigar?ur Botanical Garden late last year. Either that or the Star Fox licence has always been Nintendo’s to hand out on a per-game basis to whomever they see fit.
If you’re desperate, James McCloud (a James McCloud, anyway) is a playable character in F-Zero, although he’s slightly rubbish and Octoman would kick his arse any day.
Dear Scribes,
“Clear Rare security? Not likely.” Oh really. So you beat up a girl? That makes your security great? Pssshhh. So sad. Obviously you guys don’t get out much… must be all that hard work on Conker for the past few years.
I was once told, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” And myself has done so. Apparently Robin (can Batman not do his own work?) never saw my entry on the to-do list, and well, I needed to get it done, so I took it upon myself to train for weeks to learn the Art of Shadows (can you see me in the shadow of this door? No? That’s because I’m already a grandmaster), got my Associates Degree in Hacking Rare Computers, flew over to the ‘motherland’ flapping my arms mind you which I learned during my Wing of Eagle martial arts training, snuck into your “impenetrable fortress”, past the security guards who were curiously snacking on crumpets and tea, stole the sound which I needed, and flew back home, all in a matter of a day. Touche. And just in case you don’t believe me, feast your eyes and ears on this baby! Best be careful, people may think this is a teaser for KI3. However, to squelch any such rumors, the full movie containing this scene will be up at www.kiukle.com/storytheater on May 21st. You may wish to have a chat with your security guys.
Nathan Quattrini
You’re a bit weird. Did all the juicy additives in those Chewits we sent you years ago unbalance your mind? (Speaking of which, nobody claimed the Chewits offered in the last Scribes by identifying the quote at the top of the page – “My eyes are not first class, you know” – which was quite obviously Carwash the Cat from Willo the Wisp. Carwash is the greatest. Apart from the Moog.)
Also, we know that your training in the Art of Shadows hasn’t been as exhaustive as you claim, because Robin’s spent the last couple of weeks questioning people over the arse-print in his plush office carpet where you must have tripped backwards over a power lead. Sloppy, boy, very sloppy.
Dear representative of the bringers of human misery,
I was trying to think up some witty and scathing way of mocking Rare’s move to Microsoft, but… oh sod it, it’s not worth the effort. Particularly when I know it’s just going to get bounced back in my face by you anyway.
One thing I’ve wondered since your move, however, is why you’ve been developing exclusively for the Xbox (GBA aside)? I would guess that I’m not the only person who would appreciate seeing a Rare — see, I’m not referring to you as Rareware since the logo was changed, you picky gits — title on the PC. Was it basically Microsoft’s decision that you work with the Xbox, or was it more of a personal preference? I’m sure it’s probably easier to get far more impressive graphics and such on the Xbox than it would on a PC… and come to think of it, I’ve probably just answered my own question. Still, it’d be nice to get an official response.
Sincerely,
David “Munkee” Jasinski
As far as I’m aware there’s never really been much talk about us working for the PC. It’s not that surprising, really – we were signed up to provide high-profile titles and broaden the demographic for MS’ console ventures, and that’s where our focus remains. I suppose it’s entirely possible that you’ll see PC versions of Rare titles in future, but as for which ones and whether or not we’d actually work on the ports ourselves, I couldn’t say. I don’t mean I’m all gagged up like a gimp or anything, I just couldn’t say.
Dear Scribes,
I would like to know some stuff about Grunty’s Revenge. I defeated Gruntilda without taking any damage or getting any redlights in the quiz. At the time I did this I had everything. All moves, notes, Jinjos, Mumbo totems and Jiggies. My file’s time was about 13 hours and I got four out of five Jiggies as a rank when I passed the game.
My brother defeated Grunty with about five units of honey left. He completely did everything else in about seven hours. He got four out of five as a rank when he defeated Grunty. What are the ranks based on?
1. How well you kill Grunty?
2. How fast you pass the game?
3. How many of all the secrets you collect?
4. How well you do in the quiz (while battling Grunty)?
5. All the above?
6. How fast you defeat Grunty when the fight starts?
Please tell me how to get a five out of five rank, with as much detail as possible e.g. if it is killing Grunty, how does the game think you beat her well? If it is how long you take to pass the game, do you have to get everything as well? If so, which items, only Jiggies or completely everything?
Thanks very much for your help,
Gamefreak
I have no idea. But at least I’m honest. And I can always get myself off the hook by just asking the team.
“The ranks are not based on how well you do in the quiz or kill Grunty, the fifth Jiggy is to do with how long it takes you to complete the game. The Jiggy breakdown is as follows:
“One for finishing the game.
“One for getting all 60 Jiggies in the game.
“One1 for getting all 600 notes in the game.
“One for getting all 12 hollow honeycombs in the game.
“One for getting a time of less than or equal to 2hrs 30.”
Looking at all that raw information makes me think I should somehow obscure it or mark it with spoiler warnings, but… I can’t really be arsed, you know?
Dear Scribes,
I read a letter on Scribes to which one of the answers was:
“a) At one point during the development of Perfect Dark we were looking to get an American actress to do the voice of Joanna Dark. We were too busy trying to finish the game to follow it up, unfortunately.”
Unfortunately?!?!?!?!? Why unfortunately? It’s one of the reasons I loved it so – one of the few games that isn’t totally ashamed to not be totally American. You hear all the time games are supposed to be global, yet most games seem to be centered around that one market only…
(By the way, is it true Rare swapped a copy of PD for Wil Overton?)
And as for merchandising, I reckon I could make a model of a Perfect Dark weapon. At least a glossy papercraft one. You could sell them and give me free games, or at least a badge. That would be, as they say, rather pleasant actually.
Have a great day!
MF
Are you the Sexy MF that Prince sang about? No? That’s probably just as well.
Put under pressure, the man behind the original statement explains: “I like finishing things I set out to do. Unfortunately in this instance, I couldn’t. (No, it was a greater prize we exchanged for Wil – a single copy of PD for someone so famous? Feh.)”
Dear Scribes,
I know you are sick of hearing about the Killer Instinct thing… but I was reading on a videogame forum a couple days ago about wishlists for a future Midway Arcade Treasures and someone mentioned the Killer Instinct games. I was wondering whether or not Midway can legally release unaltered ports of the game on one such compilation since they published the arcade game.
If they can then I urge all fans on Scribes to start hounding them to do this. With the next game in the series centered on a racing theme perhaps they could do a fighting game tone for the next one.
Since the response to this question would galvanize me to into action I would appreciate a response even if it does not make Scribes.
Jeff
P.S. Maybe the release of the original two ported would also show you that there is still a market for this… because you always complain that there isn’t and that you have no current interest in making another KI right now.
Ah, a more interesting take on the question than usual. Without lengthy legal inquiries I’m not 100% sure on Midway’s position regarding the Killer Instinct series, but as Rare owns the IP I find it very doubtful that Midway could just set people to work on porting previous titles without our co-operation. Whether it’ll happen with our co-operation at some point is another matter, but my personal feeling is that both companies have moved on and future KI releases are more likely to come from Rare alone (though we are aware that we haven’t exactly been flooding the market with them lately).
Dear Scribes,
Ok first of all, I love RARE and no matter who you guys with Ill follow you, even if you ended up making games for SEGA(hahaha like that will ever happen). Here are my questions
1)Does Conker Live And Reloaded feature offline multiplayer?
2)Ive seen the new Tediz on the remake version and they dont look as cool because they lost their black button eyes I feel like that made them look more evil,can you guys go back and fix their eyes they dont look that good well watleast for the remake version.
3)Is there any way you guys can put the soundtrack for goldeneye(N64)on your site?
4)If you guys ever got the James Bond licence again would you guys be up for a new 007 game since EA cant do crap with them.
Ok well i hope you guys answer that and also I wanna state that RARE is truly the best, I know that i can buy any RARE game without reading the reviews and know that Am in for a super game (with the excpetion of grabbed by the ghoulies).RARE ROCKS!
Unbusted Fan
Now and again I like to leave a letter unedited to let the rest of you know what I have to go through every day.
1) Yes, though you don’t deserve it.
2) Absolutely, we’ll go back and completely remodel all of them. Or… will we?
3) Theoretically, yes there is, though it would involve high-ranking people from Eon, Danjaq, MGM, United Artists and Nintendo all spontaneously writing to us to relinquish any copyrights they may have held.
4) Presumably if we had the James Bond licence then an 007 game would be the general sort of thing we’d plan on doing, yes. But don’t hold your breath. (Actually, you can if you like.)
Hello everyone – how’s the weather in Twycross?
First of all, I have to give huge thanks to the Conker team for granting us bots in multiplayer. Be wary though, calling then ‘Dumbots’ might be a bit unfair (and not just to them)… let me briefly illustrate:
Imagine you’re an Xbox gamer who doesn’t have Live!. Hard to imagine, I know, but we are out there, actually making up around 80 per cent of Xbox gamers, last time I read the stats. Now imagine that you’re a gamer whose friends are all heavily into PC FPS’s, and won’t go near a console. You didn’t get Halo or its sequel simply because its multiplayer would go to waste, and you get increasingly miffed by the stream of shooters with bad bot policy.
So you always end up going back to PD and Conker on the 64 to quench your multiplayer thirst. Even worse, one of the two games you got an Xbox for (namely Perfect Dark Zero) looks set to be shunted to the next generation of consoles, leaving you with the other, a remake of a spin-off of a homage. (That’s Conker.) So you expect to see a game with great bots that at least tries to fool you into thinking you’re playing with people. Battlefront wasn’t bad, TimeSplitters might have to do, but Conker… Conker comes out and blatantly calls them ‘Dumbots’! It’s almost as if you wish people ignored they were there altogether!
I mean, how do you get psyched up for a multiplayer game when it pits you against… perish the thought… Dumbots! It’s so demeaning! Surely someone can at least change the names for the ‘Einstein’ level bots? I’m starting to worry that there’s no customisation at all! We’ll never hear the end of it from those with Live!. Poor bots, and poor us.
Oh, and by the way – could someone please consider, at least for the longtime fans, porting Perfect Dark Zero to the current Xbox generation? If it took only six weeks to port Kameo to Xbox 2, then surely porting PDZ backwards wouldn’t be too hard? We wouldn’t mind worse graphics or whatnot…
…we all did buy a whole console for it, after all…
Myopia Boy
We just can’t win. We go out of our way to avoid ‘bad bot policy’, and you decide to take offence at the name of the ruddy bots instead. Anyway, not all Dumbots live up to the term – not by a long shot. Let’s get Louise from the C:L&R team to explain…
“Okay, that?s quite a lot to write, when all you really wanted to say was ‘I don’t like the name Dumbots’. All I can do is reassure you that they ain?t dumb. We like to make you believe that you can play this game and win, but in reality, it?s not going to be easy. If you get past Worm and Vanilla difficulties, our Dumbots will make it very, very difficult for you to get past Einstein. Trust me, you won?t need to have contact with the outside world while you’re playing this, the Dumbots will become your real friends.
“As for porting a game backwards! Are you completely insane? That?s it, I?m outta here.”
Decades of architecture demolished for fun and profit!
Hello again, lordies,
Whilst waiting for Conker, Kameo and Knight Lore 2 to be released, I decided to brush off my immaculate copy of Blast Corps. Tragically it is not as immaculate as I thought, as I have either misplaced or consumed via osmosis its manual. And now I do not know how to delete my old save games so I can begin from the very start. Any advice on how to do this or a downloadable copy of the manual would be lovely. More preferable of course would be a copy of the manual sent to my house along with preview code of Banjo 3, PDZ, Battletoads: Dude Where’s My Toad, and Alien 8000.
Ta!
Chuck Norris, Reverential in a Clog
This one again? Not so much an old chestnut as an entirely new chestnut recreated by extracting tissue from the fossilised husk of the old one, then prematurely aged through intensive tanning sessions. Anyway, I believe it’s a matter of holding down Start as you fire up the game, which was supposedly the standard method for deleting N64 save data. As such, I don’t think it was ever mentioned in the manual, so there wouldn’t be much point in us sending anything to your house – which is a shame, because Dude Where’s My Toad is shaping up quite nicely and we’d have valued your input.
Dear Mr Dinwiddy,
It’s been at least a good two years since I last sent you an email about a Captain Skyhawk or Wizards and Warriors remake, so I thought I’d better not mention it again in the hope that periods of me not asking for a sequel might spark a fire in the mind of a programmer to make these legends in gaming come alive once more. That’s without even me mentioning the fact that RC Pro-Am needs a sequel!
I should, however, move on, forthwith, to the, comma filled, content of my, really stupidly punctuated, email. This is to ask you one simple question. If theoretically, right, Rare managed to ever please the ravening hordes of idiots who complain whenever a new game wasn’t GoldenEye/Killer Instinct/Banjo would it, potentially, make you really fancy a packet of Polos? To be honest it’s something I’ve been giving great thought to for some time, it is even keeping me awake at nights.
Yours,
Mike “MrChom” Chomyk (Liberator of the Free People’s Republic of Botavia, Generallissimo of the United Republic of Lower Lower Volta, currently operating from a secret base overlooking Aberystwyth harbour)
P.S. Your opinion on Trebor mints would not be a suitable substitute for my question on Polos, nor would a musing on any other form of minted goodness, chewy or otherwise.
Polos are good. But as we are doomed to never achieve a perfect idiot satisfaction rating of 100%, I must continue to enjoy the Polos on an illicit basis.
Remakes/sequels… a predictable 3D Wizards & Warriors remake would look like half the games on the market these days, and if we did it in 2D it’d sell 17 copies. Meanwhile, the programmer of Captain Skyhawk – despite stomping up and down the main corridor all day in a Skyhawk-branded sandwich board and comedy jack-in-the-box top hat, parping a pair of klaxons – still fails to achieve management recognition for his tireless sequel campaigning. RC Pro-Am’s already got a sequel: RC Pro-Am II. And I believe Diddy Kong Racing was also tentatively associated with the franchise at a very early stage. True story. Unless I’ve just made it up, or dreamed it.
Dear Scribes,
I remember that in a past edition of Scribes, you said that Neo Conker (or “Conker in his Matrix fatigues”) could be unlocked back when Conker: Live and Reloaded was called Conker: Live and Uncut. However, now it seems like secret characters aren’t possible anymore (with all the development of character classes and teams). So has unlockable characters been scrapped or not? Also, will there be a (FFA) deathmatch option (even if there aren’t unlockable characters, decreasing its chance even more, I still want some kind of answer or hint)?
Cheers,
Giro Guy (or the Squirrel, whatever)
Back to Conker’s lead animator Louise with this one.
“As it stands, there are no unlockable characters in the game. We spent too much time making sure the gameplay was just right. Anyway, you?ll be so preoccupied with all the new characters and personalities that you get to play with, you?ll forget about Conker Matrix. I mean, what?s better than bazooka- brandishing Demolisher Tediz?
“There is also a deathmatch option, and so much more. You can change the settings on a level – for Demolisher-only Bazooka-fests, for example. The game is task-based, so there’s a lot of strategy and tactics involved to make sure you finish your task and reach your goal, with a high score and within a reasonable time.”
I must also request that you put a space between the words ‘any’ and ‘more’ in future, because people who refuse to do so are in effect having a big cack on the English language, complete with cartoonish coils of steam.
Hello Raremen.
Now, I know this has very probably been ranted about before, but I can’t be arsed (one usage already) to trawl around your shiny new site looking for the other smartarse (I’m on a roll) who did so.
So: 1) What the smeg happened to the amusing captions on the pictures? They were great! I used to come here just to read them. I hope this isn’t Microsoft legal ramifications mumbo jumbo political correctiness.
Um. That’s all. No need for the numbered list I suppose then.
Oh well.
Will M
Are you asking why the captions aren’t there any more, or why they’ve stopped being amusing? Because they’re all still in place from where I’m standing. The second charge is slightly more difficult to dismiss. I can only suggest that perhaps teH fuNneY# is something that gradually deserts us with age, like hair, sanity, appreciation of chart music, or sperm.
Dear Mr Honky-tonk,
I congratulate you on your game-making exploits. (Now isn’t that refreshing to hear a positive first sentence?)
Now to business. I feel that the hordes who submit letters to the Scribes page are merely badgering (I love that word) you for information which you are uninclined to convey. (Either that or you are banned from mentioning such things upon a pain of death worse than copping a fleeting glance of Mr. Pants’ crack.)
Therefore I ask the following; with Rare’s change from N64 to Gamecube to Xbox, and now looking at the move to the nex-gen console, you have no doubt had to take games planned for one console, and mod/re-code it to suit the next. Is this a lengthy process (with particular reference to the move to Microsoft’s console)?
My regards to your family.
Matt (Australia)
I took your dishearteningly sensible question to a veteran Kameo programmer, and this is what he had to say: “Well, because our games are now built on top of a proprietary engine, moves to new consoles are usually quite painless – R&D have to do all the hard work of reconnecting to the new API! Our stuff (i.e. the development team) sits on top of the engine, and is (by and large) platform independent. In theory. There?s always some extra shenanigans required. But it?s nowhere near as painful as it used to be.”
As I’ve said before, actual information on future games is traditionally scarce in Scribes because more often than not I don’t know the answers myself, and if I try to find out it either transpires that we’re not willing to discuss it, or it’s related to some major announcement destined for greater things than the Rare letters page. Still, I’ve gotten used to the badgering, and not just from the splattered black-and-white roadkill I often cause see on the way into work.
Dear Scribes,
Alright, I’m gonna make my questions straightforward. But I want perfectly clear answers, WITHOUT jokes in them.
1) Will there be a Banjo-Threeie or a sequel to Banjo-Tooie? If so give some info on it. If not then why not?
2) Will you guys be making a Banjo title on the Nintendo DS? (Similar to Super Mario 64 DS.) If so explain. If not then why not?
3) Everyone knows you guys just dropped the whole Stop N Swap thing (unless you guys are deciding to start it again). But will we ever see anything new from SNS again?
Sam the biggest Banjo-Kazooie fan ever (always was, always will be)
Rare Reply: No jokes? Perfectly clear? Okay, let’s see how this pans out.
1) I’m not at liberty to provide that information.
2) I’m not at liberty to provide that information.
3) Rare does not comment on rumours or speculation.
There you go. Next time you write, it might work out better if you send a Mr. Pants RPA and ask for jokes.
To whom it may not concern,
I’ve actually got two main points to make, so I’ll be using paragraphs instead of a numbered list. Aren’t you happy?
Point the first: I just took a gander at IGN’s E3 listing, and lo and behold, there’s only one game under the name of Microsoft that is mentioned — Perfect Dark Zero. And it’s listed as being planned for “next-gen”. So now that the secret’s out, what do you have to say for yourselves?
Point the second: I hate fighting games made in the typical style. Meaning I hate Mortal Kombat, I hate King of Fighters, I hate Killer Instinct, and I even hate Soulcalibur II. For some reason though, I’m a big fan of Super Smash Bros. Melee. Anyway, I just thought I’d go on record as the first person on Scribes who doesn’t give two flying arses whether or not KI3 is being made, or if it ever WILL be made. Unless someone’s already beaten me to the punch, in which case I shall challenge him to a duel. With pineapples. Yes…
Sincerely,
David “Munkee” Jasinski
1) “Meh,” says Duncan. I press for clarification. Duncan clarifies: “It’s not a question that’s meant to be answered by anything other than a ‘Meh’.”
2) More sunshine and rainbows from Duncan: “He’s got good taste, but there’s not a lot I can add to that.” Well, you could add that he’s not the first person to publicly declare KI apathy by a long shot, so hopefully the pineapples are still sharp. And that anyone who doesn’t love a bit of the Smash should be deported, possibly to the best-named island in the world, Inaccessible Island. Tell you what, I’ll add all that for you.
Dear Scribes,
I was reading your entertaining commentary, and it struck me that I never got an answer from a question I placed way back in the heyday of Rare on N64.
It pertains to the Goldeneye (the game by which all FPS’s are top secretly measured) level Teotihuac’n (Aztec). When 007 enters the cavernous room of video displays, all the screens queue to the 007 logo when and only when they have been within view for a split second or two. I always thought this was a type of Easter egg or something, but try after try I could never make anything of it. I’ve tried shooting all the screens before they change; I tried not looking at them; I’ve tried displaying them in several sequences; tried primitive forms of communication with the M-16 wielding moon-raking bananauts, and… well, to keep it short I’ve tried everything!
Please tell me I haven’t lost my tender innocent years to a fruitless endeavor! Is there anything here, or am I just one banana short of a full-on Carmen Miranda capitating cornucopia.
Also, kudos on GBTG, and is there any memorabilia paraphernalia you could give or sell me on Goldeneye?
Thanx,
Turtlenexus
I’ll put it to the GE lead programmer, like he’ll remember: “Well, the answer to his question is basically yes, he has completely wasted his time (probably neither tender or innocent) – those monitors don’t do anything secret.” Oh. Alright, so he did remember. Unless he’s BLUFFING.
GoldenEye freebies? You’ll be lucky. I believe someone once summed up our position concerning the GoldenEye rights as “we couldn’t even fart in the presence of the game without someone else’s permission”.
Hail almighty Rare!
OK, now that I have your attention :p
It’s Mr. Pants is still a few months away from release here in Australia, but from what I’ve read it’s already on my must buy list. It’s probably too early to suggest such a thing, but a sequel for the Nintendo DS would be a good idea… hint, hint 🙂
Anyway, going through your archives I couldn’t help but question why you haven’t considered a compilation title for the GBA. Yeah, this has probably been brought up before in the past, but I want to mention the fact that, with so many companies re-releasing titles in a similar manner, it would be a clear advantage for you to do so. So go on… do it!
Finally… where’s Killer Instinct 3?… just kidding, I know you’ve had more then enough of that. Seriously, I do want to know what you guys thought of Electronic Arts’ GoldenEye sequel. Was it as bad for you guys to watch as it was for us?
That’s it. Take care Rare and good luck for the future,
A hopeful fan named Mark Isaacson
I find the very idea of a DS Pants sequel profoundly disturbing. Fat man in pants + touching = bad. Still, let us know if and when the original It’s Mr. Pants is released over there, as we’re still vaguely interested in keeping track, sort of, a bit. As for compilations: I’d probably fork out for a handheld Ultimate collection, and I’m not really sure why it hasn’t happened so far, but there’s time yet. Of course, I suspect that most of the NES stuff would be a super-happy licensing nightmare.
Can’t say I ever felt any serious urges to play Rogue Agent, and after asking a couple of people who held key positions on the original game it seems they didn’t either (“the concept sounded promising” was the nearest they came to committing themselves).
Dear Scribes,
Hey guys. I was just fooling around in my personal folder and found a subfolder called “Dinosaur Planet“. Open it up, and hey, there’s four MP3s here! Dinosaur Planet Theme, Discovery Falls, Ice Mountain and Swapstone Hollow. And look, a video! I’m talking original, old school, Dinosaur Planet. I checked out your downloads section (“By popular demand: the return of all previously hosted MP3 files taken from our fine range of N64 titles. Enjoy.”), but no Dinosaur Planet stuff! I did snatch those Jet Force Gemini MP3s, though. Nice job. Anyway, I figure you guys should upload these DP MP3s. Now that you mention it, I remember downloading them at 6AM on my old 56k modem. You should put up the screenshots, too. I’ve got a bit of a collection–mostly from IGN, but they don’t have all the shots that were on your page. Come on, do a favour for all those who remember waiting on Sabre, Tricky, Krystal and Kyte. For old times’ sake?
Vague
I really don’t understand this ongoing fascination with Dino Planet. It’s not as if there’s really anything to pine over, which I could sort of understand if it’d been totally canned – but most of it’s ended up in Star Fox Adventures, a few characters aside. And I just don’t see the point in us actively promoting material from what was basically a pre-release version of a game.
Anyway, even if Dave does still have the old DP tunes stored somewhere in a usable form, there may well be sections or themes that crossed over into the SFA soundtrack (and maybe his subsequent work), so by uploading DP tunes we might end up unwittingly infringing on Nintendo’s SFA copyrights. Probably not going to happen, then. Better just enjoy the ones you’ve got…
Hi. Hey. Yo. Word up in the hizzouse.
Formalities aside, I do, indeed, have some questions.
1) Mr. Seavor, I believed, mentioned that the Rare team is fond of Eddie Izzard in an interview in Xbox Magazine. What’s your favorite routine of his? I’m partial to Glorious and Dress to Kill, personally.
2) I must say, the bonus disk material for Conker: Live and Reloaded is excellent. I loved the multiplayer maps and the tidbits of scenario along with them. Why must you tease us so? I keep wanting to be angry about all the delays, but you keep impressing me with this new stuff. Oh, wait, this isn’t a question. Erm. Where and how did Conker and Ryan Stiles meet?
3) Do the characters in Conker: Live and Reloaded‘s online storyline have names? Not so much the Tediz, but I’d love to see some personality and story for the Squirrel side of things.
Finally today, I just want to thank you guys for sticking up for the gamer chicks last Scribes when that guy was talking nonsense about playing as girls in games is like playing with dolls, and that Kameo should star a guy. That’s a load of boll*cks. I can speak from personal experience, playing with dolls and playing as, say, Jade in Beyond Good and Evil are two entirely different ballparks. I played with dolls… God, not very many times, and when I did they were usually being eaten by Aliens action figures. Playing as girls in games is rejuvenating, and it makes me very happy to see a girl who isn’t being rescued by some Governator, weak and pathetic-like, but kicking ass and taking names herself. There’s a reason there aren’t many girl gamers.
Anyway, I’ll get off my soap box now. Thank you for Kameo, for Dixie, the girl Sneeker Squirrel, and for being so damn cool.
Lovies,
Enn
1) Can’t really speak for the whole Rare team, although Robin interjects: “Has to be Definite Article, especially ‘this is a poo shop, everything here is poo!'” while someone else on the team states: “Yes, Mr. Seavor is a big fan of Mr. Izzard, but I’m not sure what his favourite routine of his is and they won’t let me into his cage to ask him what it is.” Personally I’ve been disappointed with Mr. Izzard’s recent output – not a patch on his material when I used to go and see him live at Swansea Grand Theatre on a regular basis, he mentioned casually in passing.
2) Conker and Mr. Stiles met “whilst twisting and frooging their fox holes down the Mudd Club”, according to Robin.
3) Another response from the team, no prizes for guessing which member specifically: “There is an option in there where you can choose the name of your Dumbots. All this lovely customisation, just so you can (if you want) play against a character named ?Louise? (lovely name that… means ?kicks ass as a Demolisher Tediz?!)”
The opinions of that bloke in the last Scribes were fairly extreme rather than commonplace, or at least that’s what I thought until I realised they almost exactly mirrored a set of focus group results I caught wind of recently, so it seems there is actually a lot of it about. And that’s all I have to say about that, Forrest.
Hello,
Just finished “Oddworld-Stranger’s Wrath”, and I’m looking for the two Native American poems or quotes at the end of the game. Don’t have the game anymore, so I can’t look it up myself. Wonderful game, by the way. Best I’ve played in a long time. Amazing graphics.
I’ve looked all over the web, with no luck, so I’m hoping you can help me out.
Thanks,
Pam
Thanks for the kind words, Pam. Sadly we can’t be of much assistance with the quotes, because… we kind of… didn’t… make the game. Though to be fair I can see how you confused ‘Rare’ with ‘Oddworld Inhabitants’.
Dear Rare Peoples,
Occasional reader, first time e-mail…er. This article –http://xbox.ign.com/articles/603/603594p1.html — has made it apparent to me that many aspects of the Conker’s BFD remake portion of Live & Reloaded were omitted, including language and even certain gameplay elements! Now, being a fan of your games, I began to think, “Wait, that doesn’t sound like the Rare that hid the word ‘arse’ in Banjo-Tooie.” Sensing tomfoolery and foul play, I raced to your site to find out why Conker was being given the FCC nudge on a system known for its more mature user-base (though I’ve never given much credit to that statement, given the massive amounts of time I’ve been called a homosexual in Halo 2).
I promise to withhold from making petitions demanding games where Banjo, Kazooie, and the Battletoads ride Blast Corps vehicles in a race against dinosaur-riding Killer Instinct fighters who are trying to steal cheese from the First National Curd Bank if you will just answer me this: What is the cause behind this? I was looking forward to a prettier version of the N64 game that was, perhaps, even MORE dirty, just to flaunt Rare’s newfound console home. And now I see that even Sloprano’s song didn’t escape the wrath of the censor’s pen… blasphemy! This is making me sad, Rare. Very sad.
ChaoofNee
I’m glad you promised to withhold petitions regarding that particular game formula, because I’ve just printed it out, scrawled my name on it and submitted it to management. Now here’s my Exclusive Insider Source on the Conker team to explain the swearing situation.
“There have been a few *bleeping* censorships made with the new *bleeping* game. But between you and me, shhh? it?s a secret? if you [Dum de dum de dum – sorry, were you saying something? – Ed] multiplayer, you get to unlock the *bleeping* swearing! So, even more of a reason for you to play this *bleeping* game.
“So don’t be sad. You being sad makes me sad… and slightly ANGRY, and you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”
Dear Scribes,
You guys need some serious direction. What you need to do is scrap these long-delayed and obviously futile attempts at a Conker or Kameo game and start work on a brand new “ultimate” platformer based on Gregg the Grim Reaper from Conker. Have a really gory fight in the beginning between Gregg, Banjo, and about 20 scruffy house cats… we’ll see Gregg escape the gore unscathed and ready for his new adventure… to stop King Kitty Kat III.
You see, I gave you the story, now get the game rolling along… I want to see some early video by September…
Corbie
That would have been a perfectly good idea if you hadn’t dumped on the whole thing from a great height by bringing ‘King Kitty Kat III’ into it. Now you’ve gone and relegated yourself to the Mr. Pants Snowboarding division of game concepts.
Say hello to the reason SCRiBES is so late coming out! (a.k.a: me!)
Err… yeah. Anyways, I just wanted to know if there’s a release date for Kameo yet–I searched the web and found release dates galore, but there was no solid evidence for any in the bunch and that’s very confusing. I understand that moving it from the GameCube to the Xbox threw you guys off a bit, but don’t you feel you’re beating around the bush a bit by giving a release date, then prolonging the time you work on it and giving us another release date, etc. and then finally telling us “stop asking! It comes out when it comes out!”?
Of course, you guys are famous for that, right? And the Banjo team seems to overestimate their time. I heard that in BT there was supposed to be a ‘Devil Bottles’–I already know this is true–and in BK that last spell that didn’t do anything worthwhile was supposed to turn Banjo into a frog (I don’t know what would happen to Kazooie…) so Tooty could go off to find a cure–not sure about the latter; am I on the right track or just delusional?
Thanks for taking the time to read one of my (better and longer) letters and PLEASE TELL ME THE RELEASE DATE FOR KAMEO!!!!!!!
BK GiRL
Release date for Kameo? Not right now, no, although that may well change in the next few days. Have some patience, woman! Besides, we very, very rarely give out release dates ourselves – that’s usually a publisher prerogative, then we have to do what we can to stick to the ruddy things.
The B-K ‘final spell’ issue has been tackled before, though I honestly haven’t got time at the moment to go ferreting through the Scribes/Tusk archives to find out where and when, or even what the explanation was. Which isn’t much of an answer, but I thought I should post at least one of the several hundred letters you’ve sent in over the last couple of months (note to everyone else: by no means a guaranteed formula for success, don’t even think about it).
Dear Scribes,
I told you I’d be back! I’ve just pre-ordered C:L&R;, and that was some pretty nifty stuff. Who knew a pitchfork could grow a moustache (that puts my own to shame at that!)? Anyhoo…
A) Hmmm… It seems that I’m getting closer and closer to getting the full mental picture of a Thermophile in combat, but the details are still a smidge foggy. For example: Remember Scribes, Oct. 2004? I asked if Thermos were part medic, and you responded “They’re not really combat medics, no.” However, on the C:L&R; Cast List (thanks for that!), “they also have the capacity to restore both their own and other soldiers’ energy… when they’re thinking straight.” I sense contradiction here! It’s obvious their first job is to char-broil Grunts, but if not health, then what is this “energy” of which you speak?
B) As much as I enjoyed Sabre Wulf, and the nifty strategy involved using the all of the different creatures, for example using a Golem to crush baddies, or a Misti when you need to save your Serpents, I can’t find ONE good use for the Suckers! They can’t defeat baddies, and they are easily KO’ed themselves… Can someone from the GBA team give me a use for these mutated rubber duckies?
C) An F-Zero GX fan, eh? Ditto. I was itching to know: Which character do you use? I prefer Octoman myself. Besides – who can turn down a Squid-Man who can dance?
Time for me to drop Suckers on bombs while waiting for Conker,
Zenek
PS. The funniest response from a store clerk about the availability of It’s Mr. Pants was: “Sir, we don’t carry Japanese imports, sorry.” I’m never gonna find that sexy bugger…
A) As you yourself suggest, their primary task is to set fire to as many things as possible, preferably while filling the air with their profane, demented screeching. They do have a healing ability, but it’s not really enough to qualify them as full-blown combat medics. Then again, they’re probably the closest thing you’re going to get in C:L&R.
B) They certainly can, and quite frankly how dare you doubt them? “Suckers, strangely enough, can be used to suck up certain baddies like the Fleas, Bombs, Bouncers etc.”
C) Anyone with a half-decent car will do for me, i.e. not Black Shadow. I’m with you 100% on the dancing though. Hot damn, that octopus can move.
Categories: News
0 Comments
This post has been left all alone with no comments. Don't leave it lonesome - give it some company with a comment.