Dear Esther review

by Dr_Worm on Nov 13th, 2012

Is Dear Esther even a game? If I were to put it into any category of media, I would call it interactive fiction, but the designers insist all over their website that it is, in fact, a game. As a critic of games, which are technically still interactive fiction (think all squares are rectangles), I find it necessary that in order for me to consider it a game, it must be judged as one – Dear Esther blows. Big time.

If you ever wanted a walking audiobook simulator, then you’re in luck, because that’s literally all you do in Dear Esther. As you walk around on and admittedly well-detailed island (for Valve’s aging Source engine, anyway), you hear the voice of the narrator periodically chiming in with insight about the island and his life. He speaks as if writing into a diary, to Esther, who I assume is his loved one, or perhaps a relative.

As I mentioned before, all you do in Dear Esther is walk around and look around. I swear to God, I’m not exaggerating. For a piece of interactive fiction passing itself off as a game, there’s really not much to it. Look at Braid for example, or even Fez. Take away the artistic components, and you’re left with good, or at least decent games. Dear Esther has no such gameplay to back it up. You can’t jump. You can’t crouch. Your flashlight turns on and off automatically. There aren’t even any puzzle elements whatsoever. Walking, looking, and listening. That’s it.

I’ve seen Smurfs games in the 80s that have more intricate gameplay than Dear Esther, and I’m still not exaggerating. Even analog games like Checkers, Rock Paper Scissors, and “Guess What Number I’m Thinking Of” have more complex gameplay mechanics. Dear Esther makes Superman 64 look like a masterpiece of game design. For fuck’s sake, Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties manages to have more interactivity.

Unfortunately there’s not much more I can say about the artistic side of things. For me, there’s nothing more I love about games than feeling like I’m a part of a living, breathing world. Dear Esther’s world is dead and barren, possibly being a metaphor relating to the game’s story. The only way you interact with the world is by walking through it. I’m not even sure who I was playing as. Esther? The narrator? Myself? A seagull? I seriously have no idea. I’m honestly having trouble remembering the story after playing it about a week or so ago, and after asking a friend who also played it, he didn’t remember much either. All I really remember is that the narrator was killed in a car accident. Either I’m just too stupid to comprehend Dear Esther’s story, or it’s not very memorable. On the bright side, it only took an hour to finish it.

Maybe I am too stupid to understand Dear Esther’s cryptically metaphoric story. I might not exactly know a good story when I see one, but after playing video games for over 18 years and critiquing them for 6, I sure as hell know a good game when I see one. A good story (if Dear Esther’s even is) does not make a good game. In fact, I’ll remember it as being one of the most boring games I’ve ever played. After thinking about it, I may even be willing to go on record saying Dear Esther, for all intents and purposes, is the worst game I’ve ever played. It’s not worth the $10 they’re charging on Steam, let alone the $5 I payed for it during a sale. If you’re interested, just watch a walkthrough on Youtube, because you’ll get the exact same experience as if you were playing it yourself.

1/5

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