Five For Five game reviews

by Piyoz on Jan 31st, 2017

Today, I have for you a collection of mini-reviews from miscellaneous games that I have played over the years. Many of these don’t merit an entire article to themselves. My thoughts and feelings on these titles can be summarized best into a few paragraphs. Our theme? I will take Rare Gamer’s out-of-five grading scale and assign one game from memory to each of the five scores. In descending order, here are five games arranged in a spectrum of beloved to detested;

5. INSIDE (PC)

The all-caps INSIDE is a linear puzzle platformer from Danish developer Playdead. As a contender for multiple “Top-Ten-Games-of-2016” lists, this treat of an indie puzzler is a necessity to play equally for its otherworldly atmosphere and slow-drip pacing but also for taking a simple set of mechanics to such remarkable lengths. All you do in this game is walk, climb and grab. Even with such limited interaction, INSIDE manages an impressive level of depth.

There’s very little to cover with the premise here. Just like LIMBO, you play as a young boy venturing into dangerous territory. In today’s case, he finds himself infiltrating a nameless science facility in the midst of a disasterous containment breach. With not so much as a word of dialogue, everything that is needed to be known about this story and world is illustrated by the environments that the boy in the red shirt explores. The puzzles feel satisfying and the landscapes are crafted to excellence. Simply put, INSIDE is a meal. A filling, rich meal.

5/5 – EXCEPTIONAL

4. YOSHI’S WOOLLY WORLD (WII U)

The idea of a new Yoshi game developed by the fine folks at Good Feel is a safe bet for Nintendo to beef up their otherwise meager Wii U library. One could even classify the game design itself as a safe bet. Simply combine the lick-and-throw mechanics of Yoshi’s Island and Story with the arts-and-crafts project aesthetic of Kirby’s Epic Yarn. There are smooth, simple melodies to listen to and cute sound effects in every corner. The end product surprises in no area but disappoints in no area.

The premise involves some captured Yoshis and the evil Kamek and Bowser Jr. and Poochy and whatever else is needed to beckon the player from the left side of each colorful, thread-sewn, button-laden, bedazzled map to the right side. No enemy or stage ever seems seriously dangerous. The graphics present a world of warmth and comfort from the flowery fields to the fiery caverns. There are loads of shiny trinkets to find for those of us who lose sleep over such things. Do you have any amiibo hanging around (outside their boxes)? There are plentiful alternate colors for your playable Yoshi based on many available amiibo figurines. This world of wool may seem too plush for some Nintendo diehards out there, but I have no doubt that younger players being introduced to the medium may find no better gateway than Yoshi’s Woolly World.

4/5 – DELIGHTFUL

3. SIN & PUNISHMENT: STAR SUCCESSOR (WII)

The easiest description for this 2010 Wii rail shooter is visualkinetic junk food. That’s no shade on Nintendo or Treasure. The motion controls for the shooting here are very tight. The pacing of the stages between rail sequences and bosses is very effective. It’s simple, thoughtless shooting that still requires patience and precision. The main character can also perform melee attacks for very nearby enemies. The soundtrack, while repetitive, keeps up a consistent energy throughout. While often shallow, Star Successor maintains its intensity.

The premise is that a young Earth man named Isa meets a trans-dimensional messenger girl named Kachi who become best friends despite coming from alternate realms. The creators of the universe do not care for a being from Kachi’s dimension entering Isa’s, so the two are constantly hunted by a wide array of anime-style sci-fi villains across many planets. The plot and characters are bland and lifeless just like the Uncanny Valley models and animations. Dialogue is written in a very blunt Translationese that gamers seem to adore and demand for some reason. Star Successor features a paltry seven stages (not counting tutorial level), including a final chapter that is a back-to-back collection of bosses that you already fought. Normally, that’s saved for a separate mode. The lack of content is a serious concern.

3/5 – MINDLESS FUN

2. BOMBERMAN 64 (NINTENDO 64)

There’s a definite and strong foundation in place here for a polygonal installment of Bomberman on the Nintendo 64. An alien fortress descends upon the Planet of the Bomber People and it’s up to the one with a white head to save the world. Alone. You control Bomberman as he makes his way through light puzzles in confusing levels and past uninteresting bosses requiring rote pattern recognition. Plop bombs on the ground, kick them, toss them and bomb your way through different zones themed as the grass world, water world, lava world, ice world, the evil fortress and the extra unlockable sky world. There is an additional multiplayer mode that I never enjoyed very much.

The world and enemy designs are subpar overall. The puzzles within refuse to engage or challenge. Sure, it’s a game for kids. But Banjo-Kazooie was able to do better and so much more on the same hardware. Bomberman 64 fails to impress in really any aspect. The graphics, music, boss battles and plot all coalesce into a package that doesn’t really suck but doesn’t especially make an impression, either.

2/5 – PASSABLE

1. KINGDOM HEARTS: CHAIN OF MEMORIES (GAME BOY ADVANCE)

I can think of no other example of a game that I seriously, notably, memorably disliked. The premise is some nonsense about Disney worlds being consumed by Final Fantasy-style villains with no real reasons or consequences outlined for the player. Perhaps all of this was too cerebral for my college-aged mind. I recall navigating through different areas from popular Disney movies like Pinocchio, Aladdin and the Nightmare Before Christmas. The rest is a blur.

I loathe the combat system. Basically, you enter battles by encountering enemies in the field. In this little arenas, you draw cards from a large deck that you can arrange into helpful sleights. The effectiveness of you sword attacks relies in the power of these cards and their unique abilities. Run out of cards? Can’t find the one you need? Well screw you! I found myself out of cards nearly every battle, especially during boss fights. Shouldn’t the cards just allow me to perform special attacks, leaving me to do unlimited basic sword swings? I don’t know. Maybe I missed a tutorial cue somewhere. None of this gameplay makes sense to me.

The graphics and sound are quality stuff. I gave zero hoots about the plot. I simply assume that this rides in tandem with the Kingdom Hearts games on console. I felt no progression as I moved onward through empty dialogues with characters in black hoods I didn’t know or care about. Even with the cartoon characters I recognized, I don’t understand what they’re doing here in this menagerie of stories. I found myself getting lost all the time in the world’s map cubes. The boss battles are either far too easy or aggravating in their opaqueness. I hated the experience of playing this game. There’s a fine idea in the skeleton of this Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories. The execution is seriously, seriously lacking in something. I couldn’t tell you what.

1/5 – ARDUOUS

Categories: Reviews