Grabbed by the Ghoulies Excerpts (2004)
The following excerpts detailing the development of Grabbed by the Ghoulies was originally published on Rare’s Scribes letter page in 2004. We’ve scoured each edition for that year in order to provide you with every mention of the title to be found in Rare’s posted answers in chronological order below.
We’ve also included a link above each heading which will re-direct to the original letters page that the question was featured in should you wish to view it in the original context – otherwise you’ll find that the entries below only focus on answers related to Grabbed by the Ghoulies for a comprehensive listing for any fan wanting further information on pre-release content, hidden easter eggs, abandoned features and development secrets:
Dear Scribes,
It’s the night before Christmas, and I’m frustrated as all hell. Challenge 21 in Grabbed by the Ghoulies – what were you THINKING? Over the course of the last three days (pausing my Xbox because there’s no save feature, you heartless cretins) I’ve managed to worm my way up to Baron von Ghoul’s showdown. Sweet Birthday Boy, whatever prize I get better be worth it. I don’t mean an extra gallery page. At this point, I’m expecting either some amazing ULTRA-HARD mode where I play as Ted the Boatbuilder from Conker’s Pocket Tales, or my Xbox’s bottom panel breaking open to revealing an oral sex port.
Kameo looks far too much like Blinx the Timesweeper. I demand you rename it Blinx Adventures and take a further two years on development so it can be on Xbox 2. If you were to release the game on time with an original protagonist, I would enjoy it too much, and might even herald it as a masterpiece which would take far too much attention away from Microsoft’s other games. Yes, I think you need to take a good look at Kameo and be forc- er, agree to take the path trodden to death.
I’ve got your back,
Chad McCanna
P.S. So with that new logo, what happens to the term “Rareware” now? You can’t abandon it entirely. When your company makes the natural progression into textiles, nobody will understand the punned brilliance behind your Rarewear line.
“Cretins we may be, but heartless?” protests the Ghoulies team leader. “I think you’ll find that the game generously saves automatically as you progress, even in Challenge 21 – you conclusion-jumping fool. You do get a gallery page at the end, but it’s a real good one. It moves and everything.
“I suggest you email Microsoft and ask them about secret Xbox ports, but I doubt it was high on their list of ‘must have’ features – probably only just above ‘controller electrocutes player if they say a bad word about Bill’.
“Kameo looks like Blinx? You may have our back, but who’s got your eyes? It looks nothing like Blinx, as Kameo is a girl and Blinx isn’t (I think). Surely that’s enough difference.” (A representative from the Kameo team had much the same response here: “Do you mean the characters look the same? In which case ‘are you mad?’ Or do you mean the games look the same? In which case ‘are you mad?’ Nice idea – I’ll file it in my (b)IN TRAY.”)
“P.S. The Rareware logo is currently up for grabs at Measham car boot sale – along with knocked-off DVDs, broken 70s furniture and dead men’s clothes.”
Big Up the GbtG team,
(1) Did any of the artists sneakily animate a segment of Ricky Gervais’ Office dance…? I coulda sworn I saw a zombie doing it…
(2) Has Rare/MS considered publishing a ‘making of’ book…? Yes, I know I send an email every week about this (The Shawshank Redemption theory), but playing some of the bonus games and unlocking the gallery… well the concept art is very stylish, ties in directly with the actual game and looks as though it would lend itself to this type of art/making of style book.
(3) Did you call the main character Cooper so that FAQs all over the world would have to refer to the mini-me power ups as ‘Mini Coopers’?
(4) Just what are Mr Pants’ Chocolate Treats dare I ask…?
(5) Be honest, did Tom Arnold reallllly test GbtG?
(6) Finally, and most importantly… is Mumbo Jumbo the long-lost leader of the Ninja Imps?
Thankyou.
Martin “Alf-Life” Badowsky
More for the team! Look at the length of that response – must have caught them on a good day.
“1) The artist who animated the Zombie’s sad shuffling is indeed an Office fan, but having seen his booze-fuelled disco grooving down at the real Embassy I’d have to say he based it on his own.
“2) The ‘behind the scenes’ or ‘making of’ a game aren’t as glamorous as you may think. Artists moaning that their animations haven’t been put in, software types moaning that the artists are using too much memory, musicians moaning that there’s a barely audible click in one tune that no-one else can hear, designers moaning that their ideas haven’t been implemented properly and worst of all, Mr. Kirkhope moaning that it’s not his turn to make the tea (when it is really) – hardly makes for a riveting read, does it? Alternatively, we could tell you that it’s all plain sailing and the game virtually creates itself – leaving us to take it easy all day, playing cards and organising parties with celebrities and Page 3 models. I’ll leave you to believe which one is nearer the truth.
“3) The miniature Coopers were indeed called Mini Coopers in the game at one point, but Microsoft’s friendly legal department pointed out that the car name owners might not be best pleased – so we changed it. The power-ups were included in the game long after the main character was named, so I’m afraid it’s a resounding ‘NO’ to this one.
“4) Obviously they are chocolate confectionery that he makes when not starring on our website or in his quality new game. What did you think they were – turds? You’re disgusting. We can’t believe such an innocent product conjures up such innuendo in people who play our games. Next you’ll be telling us that you think Soupswill’s Homemade Ass Brownies aren’t tasty ‘cakes’ made by the highly skilled stable of donkeys that she keeps at home.
“5) Yes, Tom did get his hands dirty along with the rest of us and play the game.” (If you’re asking whether or not it was the Tom Arnold, then no, it wasn’t, you fool. – Ed)
“6) No, I’d have thought it pretty obvious that King Jingaling is, as just about everyone claims the Jinjos and Imps are one and the same.”
Please forgive me Leigh,
*sigh* Well, anything to speed the return of Tusk. This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you, probably because it will hurt me writing it, and then hurt more when Tusk sodomizes me with his sword.
1.) Why are there schoolgirls spread though the mansion in GBG? 2.) Is that girl with pink hair in love with Carver? 3.) Are they going to get married? 4.) Why is her hair pink? Is it because she’s in love? 5.) I can’t beat the second level. Why do I suck? 6.) Can I have some pushbutton codes or something for this game?
I hope the other readers appreciate my sacrifice. Oh, I suppose I should make a few obscure “in jokes” to keep my word. Hmm… speedo-clad seafood.
Dave Roscoe
You can’t coerce me into bringing Tusk back with asinine questions, man. Don’t you think I’ve developed a certain numbness to asinine questions by this point? Not to mention asinine answers: Amber’s hair is pink because she still can’t get the blood out from that time she beat five nuns to death with a cricket bat.
Dear Scribes,
Purchased GBTG yesterday. I am currently about 90 mins into the game and after another slow start (SFA) things are becoming insanely difficult. Bravo! At the introduction of the game there is a Banjo-Kazooie Xbox game in the desk drawer and then there is a tantalising flick through a Rare and then Microsoft engraved book. Are these glimpses of your future offerings? Do you get to look through the books as a reward if you complete the game? By the way when is the release date of…? Jesting Jesting.
All the best,
Jim
“Anyone can look through these books by simply recording the sequence and playing it back really slowly,” advises the designer waggishly. “Our testing department (and probably Microsoft’s legal crew) have already done this, checking to see if the over-enthusiastic development team added anything they shouldn’t. As if!
“Much as we’d like to tell you what our future offerings are, I’m afraid we can’t – as the rest of the world would think it highly unfair if only you knew.”
Dear Baron von Ghoul,
You are my new hero. Never before have I seen a character with such charisma, such grace, such wit, such a fantastic laugh, such wonderful headgear! I’m with you all the way on your decision to kidnap that prat Cooper’s girlfriend. I mean, honestly. Calling you a creep? How dare he! Here you are, innocently minding your own business as you recreate the exciting scene from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where Sean Connery scares the seagulls to the Nazi plane (complete with machine gun sound effects!) and then all of a sudden, this nobody in an (admittedly handsome) blue and green hand-knitted jumper goes and insults you for no reason! In front of your own home! If that’s not treason, then I don’t know what is.
I’ve also taken a liking to Mr. Ribs (doodely-doo!). The poor innocent soul is just trying to help. I’m sure that Cookie finds him handy around the kitchen, Baron – I mean, you won’t be getting any hairs in your soup if he’s cooking it, and it’s pretty pointless for him to be doing taste testing. Well done in your staff choice.
Also, may I congratulate you in your choice of Reaper. The silent, floaty black clothed menace with the eerie glowing finger does the job splendidly. And he does a wicked air guitar. Must be difficult to pay him though, with the whole touch-him-and-you’re-dead thing, and all.
Can we expect to see you and Mr. Ribs in upcoming titles? I’d enjoy a game where you’re in the front of a dogfighting plane and Mr. Ribs is in the back, and whenever he shoots the machine gun, you can hear his bones rattle. And naturally, you’d both have to wear your fantastic headgear.
If this reaches you before Christmas, Merry Christmas 2003! If not, absolve your sins, the apocalypse is coming.
Aussie Ben
The Baron himself (no, really) responds: “Did you know that I started out life as a very sinister Baron, who was going to turn into a fiery demon at the end? One of our artists thought I was a bit clichéd, so sketched a picture of me with a home-made plane instead. Stupid boy, as from then on I was destined to be a complete buffoon.”
And over to the team leader for the rest of your answers: “Mr. Ribs is also the work of the same ‘cute’ artist – a bit worrying to be honest. But even he’s not quite as worrying as your bone-rattling dogfight fantasy with Ribs shooting from behind. That’s just scary. We were thinking more along the lines of an overly dramatic cooking contest game presented like a boxing bout with hilarious dodgy voiceovers. Hang on, though – that’s the Iron Chef.”
Dear Scribes,
In the last edition of Scribes you accidentally pointed out that the Banjo team had finished GBTG and had started work on a new project. (As in they are not helping the other teams but are making their own game.) So therefore I just wondered what game that might be. I think the clue is in the name “Banjo team” but I cannot quite work it out. Congratulations on Ghoulies by the way. In my opinion it was the most enjoyable game on the Xbox so far, although it did not have the epic feel of a few of your past successes. But then not all games should be epics and I think the reviewers should understand that. (Although it was also too easy. Yes I did all the challenges and got all the platinum medals.)
I find it somewhat amusing that you are including a special edition of the N64 Conker in his latest adventure yet this will retail for less than the original. The local GAME still has the original valued at £60 and sadly the money grabbing bs have the only copy I have seen. Please include Banjo-Tooie as a hidden feature on a future “Banjoteam” title as my mother broke my N64 before I had chance to experience its delights. (She also broke my Megadrive. So the moral of the story is, do not give old consoles to your parents.)
Guess I should beg for updates of old games. Sorry but I cannot be bothered. I understand the development teams should make the games they want. I think that people put more effort into innovation as opposed to simply updating existing ideas. Therefore please make lots of new games and spread into new genres. (The traditional Japanese turn based RPG needs a Chewit up the arse.)
Keep up the good work,
PazJohnMitch
I didn’t ‘accidentally’ point out anything, you madman – it’s no secret that Ghoulies is finished, and it’s much more common for a team to just start another project than to split up and scatter onto various other teams. Consequently, I rate the level of corporate secrecy destroyed 1/10. Let’s see how the team reacts to your other comments:
“Thanks for liking Ghoulies – we have our first official fan! If we get two more we can start a club.
“Well, if the big N can take their iconic ape platform star and get him to play some drums, then I don’t see why we can’t get our favourite backpack-wearing bear to entertain you all by playing tunes on his Banjo (full size Banjo instrument controller sold separately at $299). So now you know what the Banjo team is up to. Don’t tell anyone, though.”
BFD at £60? Now? Good old Game. Oh, er, what I mean is buy it immediately, you’ll never spend a better £60, etc. Alternatively, the head of the GbtG team has some helpful advice for you here too:
“As I mentioned earlier, I reckon you could get a ‘slightly used’ copy of Conker from Measham car boot sale. It’s usually held in a field on Sundays, but not at the moment as it’s too cold. I guess it gives the sellers a chance to stockpile their dog-eared Mills & Boon books, rusty pre-war tools and old George Formby LPs.” (But everyone knows it relocates to Swadlincote indoor market during the winter months… apparently. – Ed)
“That last comment was almost inspirational Pazza, until you mentioned Chewits. I hate the fruit salad flavoured ones.”
Dear Scribes,
It took me three-THREE-months to finally have enough spare money to get around to buying Ghoulies, and I must say that after much doubt, I’m pleasantly surprised. The game is a lot of fun to play, and a terrific challenge (as opposed to the breeze-through I expected). If I do have a problem, it’s the lack of speech. Any reason for this? The nitty-gritty:
1. What special tasks have the Banjo team done to be mentioned so much? I don’t even know what other teams there are nowadays. The Conker team? The PD team? Wha?
2. Even though sales have been sluggish in the States, would you ever consider adding another game to the Ghoulies saga?
3. Either I’m stupid, or in recent times the Scribes archives have vanished altogether. What? Am I supposed to be content with only the current one? Madness.
4. One more thing about voice-acting: It’s a no-brainer that, being a remake, Conker: Live and Uncut will have dialogue at least in single-player mode, but what about Kameo? English or Banjo-ish?
That’s all I can squeeze out of my brain for the moment. Now give us some new Kameo info, for the love of Pete.
Behonkiss
1) One more for the team: “I guess we get mentioned a far bit because we’re gullible enough to answer all these questions Leigh keeps sending us. As for teams – we’ve got THE BANJO TEAM, the Kameo Team, the GBA Team, THE BANJO TEAM, the Conker Team, the PD Team, THE BANJO TEAM, the secret team and the even more secret team that are so secret they don’t even know their fellow super-secret teammates. Oh, and THE BANJO TEAM of course.”
2) And another one: “We’d love to try another Ghoulies game, but as you pointed out it would have to make financial sense. How about we just flog our franchises until they crawl to the knacker’s yard and churn out some half-baked tragedies based on unheard of B-movie licenses from now on, instead?” Hey – sounds good to me.
3) See that button at the top of the Scribes page? The one that says ‘Previous Scribes’? Go on, go mad, give it a click.
4) Sorry, you’ve already received your full quota of useful information. It wouldn’t do for us to come across as a genuinely useful point of contact. But here’s some new Kameo info direct from the team for you to take away with you: “It’s coming, it’ll be great, it’ll be nothing like Blinx the Timesweeper, start saving.”
Dear Scribes,
First off, hats off to the Ghoulies team for a job well done. I’ve got a few questions to ask Mr. Kirkhope about his music:
1. Is the sound quality of the music/synth patches a bit of preview of what the music for the next Banjo-Kazooiegame will sound like? (We all know the next BK will come out sooner or later!)
2. How much memory was allotted for the sound and music in Ghoulies? I have to guess a lot more than what you had available for BK, since the quality is a quantum leap from the N64.
3. Could you please tell me what kind of synthesizer (or sampler CD?) has those great orchestra sounds you guys at Rare use? I’m in the market for something to replace the ancient patches I currently use… (Roland SRJV-80 expansion boards to be precise).
Thanks very much,
Kenny B.
Kirky-boy! Get over here and tend to our mate Kenneth.
“1) Hello Kenny… Banjo who? Never heard of him.
“2) It was 1.14 GB in total, slightly larger than 4 MB for Banjo-Tooie!
“3) Ah ha, a muso question! The soundtrack was composed entirely using Gigastudio 160 (which is a software sampler). The orchestral sounds are all from the ‘Vienna Symphonic Library’ which is an umpteen disk set of real orchestral samples with no loops at all. The samples get streamed in real time from the hard drive on my PC, this means I can use huge samples e.g. the piano sample is 1GB in size by itself! It’s a bit pricey mind…”
Hello,
I have been a fan of Rare for quite some time… but a recent event in your game Grabbed by the Ghoulies has me worried.
In this game, if you smash one of the vases next to the door that leads to the last boss, do you know what comes out?
A smaller vase.
That’s right. The Baron apparently uses large purple vases to store his collection of slightly smaller vases. I wondered if there might be an even smaller vase within this vase… but I was terrified to find out, lest the vases turn out to be infinite, something which would shatter my already fragile mind. While I’d normally be content to pin this one on the Baron, someone in Rare had to design it… someone had to consciously make the choice of putting a vase inside of a slightly larger vase.
I can only imagine what sort of depraved mind would think to do such a thing… certainly no-one I want my children talking to, so STAY AWAY FROM MY KIDS!
…I don’t have any just yet, but when I do, stay away from them!
Bob Averill
“Calm down Bob,” soothes the game’s designer. “Have you never heard of the famous Matryoshka dolls? (I had to look up that one on the internet.) They’re famous for it, so why not a vase in a vase? Better than eBay’s ‘ghost in a jar’ in my opinion – and cheaper. You’ll just have to blame the vase situation on the housekeeper Babs Buffbrass, as she thought she could avoid excess vase cleaning duties by hiding one inside another. The workshy, Marigold-clad slapper.”
Dear Scribes,
I went out and bought Grabbed by the Ghoulies a couple of days ago completely on a whim. I was planning to pass it over, due to the rather mediocre reviews it received. But, the local EB Games was selling it cheap, and I dig cartoon-y monsters, so I figured, “What the heck, I’ll check it out.” I must say those reviews missed the mark completely. While I’m only at the beginning of Chapter 2, what I’ve seen so far shows off that trademark Rare creativity in spades. Bravo! It’s a beautiful game with a difficulty level that is challenging-but-not-impossible and some cool unlockables.
While I’ve got my lips firmly secured on your arse, this might be a good time to mention I think Conker’s Bad Fur Day on the Nintendo 64 is the absolute best game money can buy. I’m not just talking about the crude humour (which was great), but the way everything came together so perfectly: the varied gameplay; the difficulty level that was challenging but not frustrating (except for the Matrix sequence, but I’ll forgive that); the cutscenes that were long enough to be entertaining, but not so long that they became annoying. I played the game to completion three times before moving on, which is something no other game has inspired me to do. To this day, I tell everyone that the 90 bucks I spent on Conker was worth every penny. In the same breath I tell them the 20 bucks I spent on Metal Gear Solid was not. Needless to say, I’m looking forward to the release of Live and Uncut.”I’ll get me coat. AARGH! Jesus!”
That’s my piece. Ciao!
Armaan Khan, Cartoonist
If you found Chapter 1 “challenging-but-not-impossible”, I can’t wait to hear how you get on in Krackpot’s Lab. Cheers for the kind Ghoulies-related words, though (and I’m sure Kat would echo the sentiment as he rummages around in his wallet, cursing like a trooper). I’d have left the link to your site intact as thanks, if only I hadn’t found your cartoons to be peppered with disgusting swearwords – which I personally found most amusing, being a big fan of disgusting swearwords, but the mothers of any 7-year-olds reading the site probably wouldn’t.
90 bucks for Conker!? It gets madder and madder. And this must have been in the time before the exchange rate equated that to something like 35p, yes?
Dear Ghoulies team,
Ha HA! A few days after the Tepid Seat, I get the sudden urge to go replay the game and ask a bunch of questions about it! I’m sure you’re all thrilled.
1. In the storybook illustration that opens Chapter 2, Ma Soupswill looks considerably different. Did an earlier design accidentally slip through?
2. Some keen-eared people have been able to deduce that Cooper’s various exclamations were provided by Steve Malpass (Fox in SFA, Elvis in PD). Is there anyone else who added to the vocals that we might recognize?
3. Regarding the plot twist right before the big fight with the Baron, which I will be polite and not spoil… It doesn’t fully add up. Why would the Baron essentially let and assist Cooper in decimating his horde of Ghoulies, defeat Dr. Krackpot, and get all the way to his room? Surely he wouldn’t have done all that just for fun.
4. And while I’m mentioning the not-so-good doctor… Why did his role end up being so insignificant? He seemed prominent enough in the early press releases and renders, yet he only gets a few FMV appearances in the actual game, and doesn’t even seem to have an actual in-game model. Was there going to be more with him, such as a boss fight, that was scrapped for various reasons?
5. You’ve already driven the fact in that a sequel seems unlikely… in that case, why did the ending give so many hints that things aren’t quite over? Did the team expect phenomenal sales?
6. Finally, what does Cooper see in Amber? Her chest? Her pink hair?
You can rest now.
Behonkiss
Time for one of those longer-than-the-original-mail Ghoulies team responses you love so much:
“1) What do you mean, she looks different? Are you saying there’s some kind of early model in there that we didn’t change or was she replaced by a huge fire-breathing dragon?
“2) Due to a lack of people claiming they’re any good at voices or being willing to subject themselves to repeating the same phrases all morning, our talent pool is somewhat limited. Yes, ‘Voice of Fox’ cropped up a few times, along with other stalwarts including artist Steve (Mummy/Zombie), artist Ed (Imp), programmer Dave (Ma Soupswill/Mr. Ribs) and of course, Grant the musician (loads of stuff).
“3) Yes, he did it all for fun. It gets very dull when you’re a wealthy eccentric aristocrat biplane wannabe, so you have to create elaborate means of entertainment. Mindless minions and deranged doctors are so cheap to come by these days so losing a few hundred doesn’t really matter that much.
“4) Ah, yes – you noticed. The doctor was originally intended to be a boss, but that’s only half of the story. Strapped to the central table in his lab was supposed to be Krankenstein, the doctor’s version of the famous stitched-together monster. Krankenstein was to get up from the table and attack the player, with the doctor joining in once his creation was defeated. But it never happened… sob.
“5) Like all good B-movies, there always has to be a chance of a sequel. So we leave the door open just in case. No ‘Bobby in the shower, it’s all a dream’ for us, you know.
“6) No, actually Cooper likes the fact that she carries the backpack. How did you know Amber has a particularly fine chest? It’s a roll top Elizabethan piece made from mahogany that she keeps at home.”
Dear Welcome to Rare,
Just got a couple o’ music related questions. First off, any chance of us getting the Grabbed by the GhouliesTheme Song in MP3 format? You know the one, the title with the “GRAAAABBED BY THE GHOUUUULIES” (chuckle chuckle, chuckle chuckle). Without the sound effects that you get from Demo Mode? Also, may I take this opportunity to ask who did the vocals for the song? Just curious. They’re not too bad. And finally, since Grabbed by the Ghoulies is already blatantly Satanic, if you played the music backwards, would it become holy and play “WOR-SHIP-JE-SUS”?
Aussie Ben
According to Grant, the vocals were done by a couple of the boys from the Music department, and he “layered it up to make it sound big”. He also reckons that if you play it backwards it says “send Grant fifty quid”, but I’m not sure about that bit.
You can worship Jesus/Lucifer with this MP3 right here.
What in blazes?!?
Okay, I’m all for the games Rare is putting out, but where is my Banjo-Threeie?!?! I didn’t hear any news about it from E3, and you guys aren’t giving any ideas at all.
Look, I’m a reasonable guy, so I’m willing to overlook the lack of information. I’m willing to overlook the purchase of you by Microsoft. I’m even willing to overlook the unexplained mysteries surrounding the series. Just give me info!
Don’t tell me you haven’t heard anything. I know you snoop around the office, reading memos, and stealing beagles.
JUST TELL ME SOMETHING!!!!!
Mr. Quizmo
I haven’t heard anything (kicks beagle under desk). But I’ll ask the team leader on your behalf.
“It’s a little-known fact (that even the Rare Witch Project boys haven’t found) that Banjo-Threeie was a secret unlockable feature in Ghoulies – but as no-one bought our splendid haunted house romp, no-one will ever play it. So there. When there is some Banjo information to share, you’ll be the first to know (along with the other five remaining Banjo fans) – although you may be too frail to even hold a controller by then…”