Viva Piñata: Trouble in Paradise Explorer’s Log
Name: Horace St. James Golightly
Profession: Explorer, Adventurer
Location: Piñata Island
Misson Brief: Return to service and investigate new species and developments for Interactive Product #2
Explorer’s Log #2.1: Back in the Field
Pip pip! Did you worry you’d seen the last of me, dear reader? Ah, but it takes more than a year of inactivity and poverty to put a Golightly down. It is true that I became lost in the jungle, missed my passage home and had to live in a frankly rubbish mud hut with rudimentary hygiene for some time, hence the interesting smell (for which I apologise). But at last my luck has improved! Poncho finally showed up again to inform me that contact with the mainland had been re-established, my erstwhile Employers had agreed to my reinstatement after only a moderate level of coercion, et voila! Horace St. James Golightly is back on the case.
Recent times have seen changes here on Piñata Island, both good and bad. Broadly speaking the local gardens have flourished, with considerably more Piñata species on the prowl than I remember (although nobody will believe me about the minotaur, and I hadn’t been drinking).
There is, however, a certain air of anxiety as you draw closer to Piñata Central; it seems top Ruffian type Professor Pester and his band of ne’er-do-wells hatched a plan to steal the computer records for some dim-witted purpose, but typically ended up erasing everything instead.
Now the factory workers are desperate for full candiosity Piñatas to help restore the files and keep their stuttering party business afloat, while that high-falutin’ Lickatoad bounces around in a panic like… well, like a panicky Lickatoad.
As for the previously unseen species I mentioned, many hail from the hot and cold wildernesses outside traditional garden country. Not sure how they got here, but it appears to be the ‘in thing’ to add that extreme weather feel to your own stretch of land. Fortunately sand and snow cover is now available on demand in all parts of the island, so those poor Pengums don’t shrivel up while the Camellos perish of pneumonia. They nip like a good ‘un, but I wouldn’t wish that on them.
Other changes that have come about while I was indisposed in the undergrowth include a new emphasis on same-garden collaboration between two or more partners, the rapid spread of trick-performing Piñatas, and greater variety in the appearance of neighbouring plots – some redecorated with space themes, some done up like haunted houses and others given a decidedly piratical air. I take it the shops have expanded their range to appease the fickleness of today’s gardeners with their shameless requests for ‘customisation’ and ‘sandbox play’. Pirate gardens, I ask you! There’s no logic! What next, authentic ninja mansions?
I’ve also spotted people running around with cameras of their own, taking wobbly snapshots of favourite beasts, and in the name of research (by methods I shan’t discuss) I’ve laid hands on one of these glossy ‘Piñata Vision’ cards. Apparently it works in conjunction with a camera to provide a bonus or upgrade of some sort, though sadly it does nothing with my old hunk of junk. I don’t claim to understand the technology, I’m just holding on to the card in case it’s valuable – given the intensified presence of Sours and Ruffians around here I may need to trade it in for fresher underwear at some point.
Anyway, as you might have gathered, all this new activity has led to my Employers commissioning another interactive product depicting life on Piñata Island, and by extension my renewed contract as their Man in the Field. I shall be here to provide updates until, and possibly after, the release of this next product, or until they remember to stop paying me.
For now, both my trusty old Sightings ledger and the gallery have been dusted off to accommodate some of those new and exotic critters mentioned above… grudging credit to my sidekick here for the etchings and advanced photographical operation, as always.
Until next time, friends! Avanti! I’m off to bribe a Sprinkling for a quick shower, as Poncho’s increasingly exaggerated wafting motions are becoming most tiresome.
H. St. J. Golightly, Explorer & Adventurer
Explorer’s Log #2.2: Ask Uncle Horace… Again
Those developer types don’t dawdle! Their new interactive exposé of the Piñata Island way of life is already available for purchase in less far-flung corners of the world, so here I am rushing to post an update from the frontlines before they start to think I’m not actively earning my keep.
I decided that a hard-hitting Island-based investigation into the alleged wealth of new and improved content might be a good angle this time. But it soon transpired that I’m not cut out for kicking doors down first and asking questions later – thanks to Poncho for the makeshift hazelwood splints for my three broken toes – so I went back, knocked politely and asked the village businessfolk what issues they’d like to raise with those responsible for bringing them to pixellated life.
Their queries follow, along with my own educated rejoinders laced with key information extracted from telegrams sent to me by core members of the development team, or perhaps a tea boy at something of a loose end.
“So which of these new species are bein’ shown? Any good ones, or just those that are easy to draw? Hah! Which are the most popular, so I can order supplies for the houses? Gotta stay sharp in the construction game, pal!” – Willy Builder
Golightly: My sources indicate a total of 28 new species, not counting the Sours separately, but I don’t suppose those uncouth sorts figure highly in anyone’s domestic housing plans. Hulking brutes like the Tigermisu, Sarsgorilla and Limeoceros are bound to be highly sought-after, while the likes of the Bispotti and Sweetle are ten a penny. The more imposing beasts from the outlying Dessert Desert and Piñarctic territories should also prove popular – the Walrusk, for example. And the elaborately patterned Tartridge and S’morepion should quash allegations of artists taking the easy way out, or at least that’s what they tell me. This new Just For Fun mode is one way for impatient or slow-moving gardeners to lay eyes on some (but not all) of the new beasties. Do you partake in off-island work at all? I expect my conservatory has deteriorated somewhat while I’ve been away.
“Oh wow! I hear there’s going to be lots more co-operation in this one! Anything you can tell me about that? Do I still get to play a part? Why are you staring at my head?” – Fanny Franker
Golightly: (Dear readers, I couldn’t help it. Never mind your Jelis and Dragonaches, the post office lady’s head is one of the most grimly fascinating spectacles around.) This new product indeed features a surfeit of co-operation, with a second person able to control a separate ‘cursor’ and help out in the garden to allegedly fill a magic meter. Magic, I ask you! Something called ‘Xbox LIVE’ is also employed, where other gardeners’ blossoming plots can be visited or whimsical contests entered, while socially or technically disadvantaged players may yet take photographs of their accomplishments and ‘upload’ them to a ‘server’. The sending of crates to friends remains in place, so do not fret over your treasured post office duties becoming sidelined!
“What’s all this about printable trading cards? I don’t like it. A little Robean told me that even if I get some, I can’t charge for them. Are you trying to drive me out of business?” – Lottie
Golightly: I urge you not to shoot the messenger, Mrs. Costolot. The so-called Piñata Vision cards can be made from a photograph of something in the player’s own garden, or acquired in one of the cunning ways in which they’ve been distributed, not counting the one that comes packed in the box, which isn’t very cunning. They are indeed a free venture, but can only be read by an Xbox LIVE Vision Camera, whatever one of those is – maybe you could work around the other gratuities by selling the hardware in your shop? No?
“Okay, look, I’ve got people demanding refunds because this Pester guy keeps coming in and smashing their top-quality Piñatas. Tell me he’s not as much of a major drag in the game as he is in real life, and if he is, that there are ways to keep his dirty hands off the residents.” – Gretchen Fetchem
Golightly: A run of no less than three intimidating ladies! I was most uncomfortable at the time, old-fashioned sort that I am. Conversely, Poncho thinks he now has a hot date lined up with Ms. Fetchem. I fear he misunderstands the impact of his unusual and occasionally startling body language. Back to the question: early word has it that Pester is indeed being a ‘major drag’ to players of the new interactive product. Its creators point to its subtitle as evidence that things were never going to be easy, but offer some basic Pester prevention tips regardless: decoy Piñatas and hefty dips into the coin fund can both prove fruitful, while the Limeoceros and Dragonache garden residents both have properties that the Professor may find… off-putting. There are always ways and means, my dear woman! What? No, that wasn’t intended to be patronising. Unhand me! I shan’t be locked in a trap for a week… again…
“Felicitations, breakers of the fourth wall! Could I be so kind as to enquire after the new Tinkering requirements to be put on show? I must ensure that my art is being presented in a responsible manner.” – Bart the Tinker
Golightly: Of course, of course. I must say, a visit to the Tinkerage is so much less intimidating than time spent with some of the other local service providers (although Bart’s attempts to Tinker my sidekick’s poncho into a fashionable leather jacket were received less than favourably). A few examples to set your mind at rest, Mr. Bartholomew: creatures as diverse as the Robean and the Jeli have a soft spot for figgy pudding, while the Peckanmix is naturally a fan of pea soup. The Smelba, a somewhat bipolar creature, will lap up garlic butter while yearning for the stimulating cleanliness of air fresheners. Some of the exotic new beasts of burden also find it hard to shake the coffee habit, while Twingersnaps have been known to perform tricks for stew. Your touch is needed for all these things and more, my capable friend. There is also the matter of the bones…
Well, I believe that’s that. Assignment completed! Praise be to the great Piñata totems that I got through this one relatively unscathed. No Roario maulings, no Custacean nips in delicate areas, no highly distressing Limeoceros dung incidents. Not in the call of duty, anyway.
I shall sign off again for now, and when you next hear from me will depend on how rapidly my Employers dispatch a pay packet to ease my passage off the Island. It’s not so bad here once you develop a sense of which species should be avoided, which are docile and which take particularly violent exception to a camera flash, but there are other lands to explore and other adventures to embark upon. Opportunities abound for an explorer in the prime of his life! And when this Flapyak removes its flea-ridden hoof from my bruised and painful instep, I shall pursue them with vigour!
H. St. J. Golightly, Explorer & Adventurer