Scribes – May 5th 2004
Hello Scribes!
This is my first time writing and I have a few questions for you. I heard that Perfect Dark Zero might be canned from Xbox and become a launch game for the Xbox2. Now I can understand that, considering how much PD on the N64 was delayed (not that I mind – I’d rather have a Perfect game than a rushed one) but are the only current Xbox projects Kameo and Conker? I think those games look awesome but I’m just wondering if there’s anything else I could look forward to in the future.
Another thing I’d like to know is how can I land myself a beta tester job for you guys? I’ve heard of some people saying to hang around message boards and job opportunities pop up now and again, but I’ve never had the chance. I didn’t see anything in the company’s vacancies about that and I like to know how-and when-testers are chosen.
Eric Longval
P.S: I’d also like to see the past Scribes but I can’t seem to find the “Past Scribes” button on the main Scribes page.
Kameo and Conker are currently the only Xbox projects that we’ve shown to the public, yes. There may be others, or they may end up on the next machine. It all comes down to the fact that releasing games in the last stage of a console’s lifespan can be a less than hugely profitable experience, so sometimes it makes more sense to carry them over to the early days of the machine’s successor.
Any jobs that we have are advertised in our Join Us section, but 99% of the time these days we’re only looking for programmers and artists. When we need new blood in the Testing department, it’s more often advertised in local newspapers, if you can get past the searing anguish of news headlines like “Man Almost Falls In Canal” (it’s non-stop action around here, it really is).
PS I don’t know why you can’t see that button, unless you’re reading the page outside its frameset (e.g. by clicking Full View or following a dodgy link from another site). There should be three buttons embedded in the header graphic at the top of the page, and Previous Scribes is one of ’em. I’m at least 72% sure I’m not hallucinating it.
Dear Scribes,
You claimed getting onto the Scribes page would be as easy as asking “some questions which are DIFFERENT TO EVERYONE ELSE’S”. Well, here goes:
1. I’ve scanned in my CBFD cartridge, then burnt the image onto a CD-ROM. How come it doesn’t fit my GameCube?
2. What is the state capital of Saarland?
3. How come it’s Jet Force Gemini and not Leo or Pisces? (Ah… I never get tired of this one.)
Seriously though. Now that you prominently link to the MGS, I drunkenly ransacked their site and found footage of Mr Steve Mayles giving away amazing, astonishing, insert an epithet of your choice here, thrilling details about GbtG. Now my actual questions are:
What kind of funny accent is Mr Mayles supposed to be speaking? (I can tell it ain’t Scottish, coz me mate Chris is a Glaswegian.) Does everyone at Rare talk like this? Is this the reason why so many of your characters don’t speak proper English, either?
Also, how come Mr Mayles is so cute? In fact, he’s cuter than Aya Matsuura… I mean, from what you keep telling us, we’d rather expect your employees to look no better than Grunty in BT. Consequently, I was wondering whether the person in the video actually works at Rare — or whether he’s a supernumerary whom you cast in order to keep your “secrecy thing going”?
I’d give my questions a 7/10. Especially if I said epithet again for no reason.
Yours truly,
Tom Cruise Missile
1) You need to snap a couple of inches off with a pliers first. It’s very technical – get an expert to help.
2) This is one for the Ghoulies team (why? It just is). “Saarbrücken is the state capital of Saarland. Now try one from us – what is the name of Tamworth’s premier nightclub?”
3) No, I said different to everyone else’s, and this is quite a popular one amongst our… less perspicacious fans.
As our resident bit of crumpet Mr. S. Mayles is by nature so shy and retiring, let’s see if we can get the head of the Banjo team – by happy coincidence, his brother – to help you out with the accent:
“Mr. Mayles is speaking what is commonly known as ‘South Derbyshire’, a regional dialect of English. You could teach yourself some by repeating the following phrases: ‘Ey up, duck’ (Hello), ‘Ah’ll hay an oaky’ (I’ll have an ice cream) and ‘As me motha seen ya?’ (Have you met my mother?). No, not everyone talks like this at Rare, only some of the ‘local boys’.
“Steve gets called many things but I’m certain that cute has never been one of them. And yes, he does work at Rare – he’s been involved in Battletoads, DKC, Banjo and most recently Ghoulies. Sorry girls (and guys), but he’s also married – although you can order full length ‘tasteful’ pictures of him in his underpants if you so wish by going to www.cuteartistinyfronts.com.”
Dear Scribes,
I’m very interested to know, where is this IN STUPID LAND you keep referring to? Can I book a holiday there? Laugh at all the people that live there, as opposed to the people that decided they wanted to holiday in a place called IN STUPID LAND? Sign a guest book? HELP!
Also, I know you cry your eyes out everytime someone asks you the release date of Perfect Dark Zero, so here goes: when is PD0 getting released? HAHA, made you cry! (I hope.) Actually, what I really wanted to know is whether it will be released on this generation of the Xbox, or the next one (since there are so many bloody rumours about it that no one knows what is true and what isn’t).
Thanks for letting me ramble on,
El Spanko A.K.A. Michael of IN STUPID LAND
P.S. Sorry about making you cry! (Only not really.)
Heartless beast. If you think I’m clearing up any rumours for you after that, you can think again. And by the way, everyone knows that STUPID LAND is the source of every last atom of concentrated stupid in the universe, i.e. YOUR HOUSE.
Dear Scribes, the father I never knew I had, or did, but didn’t want to get to know,
1. When you people were bought by Microsoft it was said you were making 5 games for the Xbox. Well we know of Conker, Kameo, Grabbed by the Ghoulies, Perfect Dark Zero and Sabreman Stampede. One thing missing is Banjo-Kazooie. If I had to guess I’d say it will be released alongside the Xbox 2. Why oh why do you people insist on making new characters for games when you have a franchise called Killer Instinct that’s been gathering dust? You KNOW if you make another one people WILL buy. I know what you’ll say. No-one wants to play the same game over and over. Do you people just hate that franchise or what? Tsk tsk tsk.
2. Oh yeah, Jet Force Gemini was a good game. If it was redone with a more realistic style, better story and even multiplayer campaign mode (like Brute Force) it could sell millions. Any chance that might happen? …Yeah, didn’t think so.
3. Mr. Pants’ wee wee is showing.
4. What’s your favorite game from Rare Mr Loveday (if that is your real name)? Oh and what game have you helped with the most?
5. Will Conker: Live and Uncut be multiplayer WITHOUT Xbox Live or no? High speed internet is expensive ya know.
6. Grabbed by the Ghoulies was a good game. Rented it, planned on buying it but beat the entire thing in like 7 or 8 hours. Oops. Make a longer game next time or make me collect more junk. Oh and whose leg did Mr Pants have to hump to get his image all over the rooms in the game? Well thanks for adding me to the e-mail block list.
Are you my daddy? Cause if so you owe Child Support buddy. I accept Visa.
PM5Kbebop (Gabriel C.)
PS: Does Rare plan on releasing a Greatest Hits type thing? Ya know, with classic games. Or is that just stupid? (2 years later, Rare Hits: Volume One.) Oh and you people are too secretive.
1) Arg. We’ve said we may well do it when the time’s right, we feel we can produce something truly worthy of the name, and it’s got any chance at all of selling. The market for 2D fighters hasn’t exactly blossomed since KI2/Gold (almost a decade ago now, lest we forget), whereas the bar is arguably much higher for 3D fighters, so even that’s a decision we couldn’t make lightly. But as ever, we’re not ruling it out. Just don’t expect to see it at E3.
2) YES! As in “yes, there could be a pitifully minuscule chance, one day, maybe, but let’s face it, probably not – ever”.
3) I fear you’re just falling prey to his subtle powers of suggestion.
4) Probably Blast Corps, and, er… probably Blast Corps.
5) Doesn’t look like it at the moment. But I could be wrong.
6) Now you’re just trying to wind up the online press – they hate it when we make you collect stuff. And Mr. Pants is the purest expression of creative freedom.
If your surname was Mack I would indeed be your daddy, as I am the Mack Daddy. However, as you claim your surname begins with C, that would make me the Cack Daddy, so I’ll say no.
Dear Scribes,
Here are some pointless questions for you to mull over, and hopefully give some equally pointless answers. Yay!
1) Looking at your game timeline, it looks like every world in Sabre Wulf has its own game. Are these part of the series or just an in-game nod to previous classics?
2) How in god’s name do you get an R rating on Tangle Trouble Lookout in Challenge Mode? I’ve been playing for hours, used various techniques and just can’t seem to get under 20.8 seconds.
3) What’s the statue in the town hall of Sabre Wulf, and also on a poster in Ghoulies, meant to be?
4) Any chance of a Ghoulies sequel? Perhaps this time around Cooper’s girlfriend could get ‘grabbed’ by a male dwarf chicken with a pack of zombies, haunted televisions and the odd ninja imp, you could call it Little Pecker: A Cock and Some Ghoulies… (maybe not quite subtle enough…)
5) Did you happen to miss one bonus door in Sabre Wulf? After completing most of it, I still have one spare key that seemingly has no use, and I’m yet to find the ‘silver’ key on the Treasure menu.
6) Any news on what It’s Mr. Pants is actually going to be about, if it even exists?
Richard Lambeth
Let’s fob the first few off on the GBA team:
“1) We tried to put as many references to the classic Ultimate games in as we could. Most of these references are completely lost on today’s players, but older players will fondly remember them.
“2) Take less time.
“3) It’s a character from the cover of old Spectrum game Underwurlde.”
4) I don’t get it.
5) One more for the team: “When you find the missing silver key and open the office in the town hall, you’ll find the missing bonus room.”
6) It’s like a cross between Taboo and Babelfish. You feed Mr. Pants all your earthly hopes and desires through a badly-drawn on-screen keyboard, and he spews out your fortune in stupid made-up slang while doing a three-frame dance against a psychedelic background. It’s a brand new spiritual feelgood genre; we expect it to sell in the tens.
Dear Scribes,
Oh yes… make fun of my… thoughtful pauses… and just to set the record straight… Sean Williamson… was if my memory serves me right… the guy you told to be “less crap”… because he was crap at Goldeneye… anyway… I’m old enough to remember the original release of Sabre Wulf… and owning a C64 the first time around I was left in the dark… but now I’m ready… having waited 20 years… not doing anything but waiting… so here goes… will you include the original game as an unlockable thingie??
Erling Hansen
No unlockable original for you, as we’ve said before – but it came out on the C64 as well back in 1985, so you’ve no excuse for not having played it, Hansen. Are you a member of Hanson? I hear they’re making a comeback. See? I’m holding a shotgun.
Tusk’s told a lot of people to be less crap in the past (as have myself and Botters and, in so many words, the GBA team above), but I seem to remember Williamson being quite open about his crapness. In the sense that he both denied it and proved it in the same letter. Anyway, I’m always being told by those who check Scribes before it’s uploaded to shut up about Williamson, so stop bringing him up and getting me into trouble.
Dear Scribes,
So many good things to say about this company. Anyway I usually just go to IGN to see the whats and whens about you guys. Anyway I came here just to get some more on Kameo and just happened to download that Once Upon a Time music file… damn I was going to rent it first but after hearing what you put in the music the game is obviously a must have (you guys did make that music right?). Anyway I was wondering if there was any chance you could put up the whole song or maybe more bites of others to keep us happy while we wait for the game. My wife has the music on repeat as I type this (yes all 46 sec of it). Oh and take as long as you need to perfect your upcoming games. Rare is the reason I bought an Xbox! Yes, I followed you from Nintendo. Hey it was a good move, your games need to be on the best hardware, which is Xbox. Well I guess this won’t get printed after that non-PC statement but hey, it’s what I think.
Thanks,
Someone older then 30 that still plays!
Rare Reply: Not half bad, is it? And judging by the bits and pieces I’ve heard, there’s plenty more where that came from. With a bit of luck we’ll have some to put up at (or just after) E3. In the meantime, here’s a WAV file of Skeletor telling Beast Man to put his seatbelt on.
Dear Kaiser Loveday,
It’s been over a year since I last wrote, when I incorrectly described myself as a pre-DKC Scriber. I meant pre-DK64/JFG, which isn’t nearly so long ago. Still, I’m a shameless, ageing cheerleader for Rare. And that’s something you MUST need around the office.
In my last letter, I was trying to come to terms with the fact that my all-time favourite game company is now writing exclusively for the Xbox and that there was nothing stopping me just getting one, save my own haemorrhaging conscience. Problem solved! They’re now giving away Xboxes in packets of cereal, suspending them with (several) helium baloons and setting them adrift over major cities, leaving them randomly on people’s doorsteps and so on. I got my ‘box because my wonderful girlfriend chose one phone company over another.
And to be honest, I’ve been playing it for a month, and until now have chosen not to purchase the ONLY available Rare title. Why? Natural born cussedness on my part? Possibly. Looks a bit too much like Luigi’s Dosshouse? Naaah. Maybe it was the title of your newest offering. I mean, honestly! Show me the Englishman who’ll willingly be GtbG and I’ll show you a Frenchman. Or a rugby player.
Anyhow, Mr Loveday, I must congratulate you on not only selecting a large number of complimentary letters regarding GtbG that have fired up my interest in the game, but having included a fair number from gamers in my femidomographic – has a job, looks wistfully over its shoulder at the years when it could have been referred to as a ‘youth’, tries not to think about having A Family. The older sods seem to love GbtG, so I think I’m off to purchase it now. You should receive a bonus from Rare for your tactical deployment of PR resulting in at least one extra sale of this game. Not an extra unit, as I’m off to find it second-hand… but you should work out your cut of the Cash Converters price and demand it in pies.
On the subject of second-hand games, I’m feelin’ Pazza (strictly in a hip-hop sense, you understand). In the last few weeks I’ve been scouring two different cities in search of a copy of CBFD, but no-one has it. You can get every other Rare N64 game, but not Conker. I had a chance last year, but I bought a pre-owned PD instead. And even when I did find second-hand CBFD, it was double the price of every other game there. I imagine this is a result of the game’s universally enthusiastic reviews and the fact that not so many copies of it actually went out. Glad you’re reissuing it for the Xbox.
Be well and happy,
Kat
Nothing wrong with sticking childish innuendo in your game title. It’s better than such filth as X-Men: Next Dimension, which sounds fairly innocent but actually features, I was shocked and appalled to find, Psylocke spewing random British obscenities all over the place – for no other reason than the American developers obviously thought that’s what we do all day over here. Which is largely true, but, you know.
I should probably also point out that I never sift through the mail and print only the complimentary letters. In the case of Ghoulies, it seems that the majority of people who actually pick up and play the game don’t walk away disappointed, and the mail we get reflects that. As I’ve said before and I’ll no doubt say again, the fact that it may not have been the ideal game politically with which to make our Xbox debut doesn’t automatically make it not worth playing.
Don’t know what the deal is with BFD costing an arm and a leg after all this time. The upshot of releasing it in limited quantities, I suppose. My copy’s still in the cellophane if you’re interested – £250 should just about cover it, and I’ll get some of our cleaners to sign it for you as a special ‘limited edition’ bonus.
Dear Rare,
I think you all are wasting time on them boring games yall are making, yall are not doing too well because the games yall have now. I think yall should make Killer Instinct, it’s your biggest money maker. I think yall should consider making Killer Instinct 3, because it’s the greatest game of all time, and it would be a shame if you didn’t make it. I’ve played Grabbed by the Ghoulies and I ran past a bookshelf; I don’t know if it means yall are in the process of making it or it’s just a teaser, but truly I think it would be a huge success if yall make this. I just want the best for yall company, yall have been in the business for a long time.
Deebpimpn
Look, everyone – a real American! It’s a shame he chose to spend his time here rambling on about KI3, and I’m not sure about his request for us to diversify into the carpentry trade, but it was nice of him to pop in and say hello.
Dear Scribes,
Now that donkeykong racing will never come out,can you tell me what it was like or going to be like.Who else would you have been able to play as besides the ones show in the old e3 video.Would the enemy(if their was one be k.rool or the wizpig).I have been a big rareware fan since the days of the donkeykong country series(which I think is the best 2-d series of all time)and i really hate how nintendo won’t let you make the donkeykong games anymore.Nintendo never even cared about donkeykong until you guys came along a brought the series back to life.You made the donkykong that everybody knows and loves, not Nintendo, you should be able to continue the series.I hate what nintendo did to zelda and I’m afraid of what they will do to donkeykong.
Bubblegum Crisis Fan
I can’t even bring myself to make a start on your grammar.
Nintendo are hardly going to let us make games starring DK for the Xbox, are they? It’s not as if we ever expected them to. But here are some answers from the ex-Donkey Kong Racing team for your delectation:
“We were going to set in it downtown Miami, and have a large free-roaming element so that you could actually get out of the car and… well… murder things. We would have had blood, prostitutes, guns, drive-bys and crime. We were going to put swearing in, and grenades – a tank and the Mafia. You would have been able to bludgeon innocent people to death with a baseball bat until they collapsed, allowing you to steal their money – and when the ambulance arrived, you would have been able to steal it, and mow down the paramedics desperately trying to revive your original victim. It would have rocked – but it got cancelled, so we won’t.
“Other playable characters: Roger Moore, Peter Andre, Kevin Keegan and my mum.”
Hope that was of some help to you.
Listen to me, and listen closely:
You HAVE to make the next Perfect Dark game available on the GameCube, and the control scheme has to be as similar to the 1.1 style of Goldeneye and Perfect Dark as possible on the GameCube Controller. The original was on a Nintendo console and the next PD will never feel the same unless it is also played on a Nintendo console. No-one can make a first person shooter like you guys could. Electronic Arts killed the Bond series for us die-hard fans of Goldeneye. When I bought and played Goldeneye, I thought games could never ever get better, then you released Perfect Dark and bestowed upon me the power to randomly blast the crap out of people in multiplayer mode even if none of my friends was playing. I went 18 hours straight in the base level once against two PerfectSims, heck, I still play the game now. It has survived through the burnout of three N64 systems.
I now hear that a sequel (or prequel) is being made, and gasp being released on an Xbox!? No! No! Snubbing the Cube like that on a game franchise that prospered so magnificently on the Nintendo is a great moral, and almost Religious wrongdoing. I know people who can only recognize the name of your company because they play and love Perfect Dark. So, for the millions of us who love Perfect Dark and stay true to Nintendo, please, don’t turn your back on us: put Perfect Dark on the Cube. If you don’t, I will walk around your lobby with a giant boom box playing my two disk soundtrack of Perfect Dark (which I am still mad didn’t include the alternate intro music, the one where PERFECT DARK scrolls across the screen with the psychedelic background) and burp a lot until someone beats me to death with an oar, which would take a very long time because I have a bad habit of incapacitating people who try to hit me with stuff. Believe me, it would be much easier to make the new Perfect Dark available for the GameCube than it would be to remove me from your premises, besides the ending credits music to Perfect Dark, although cool, will really start to annoy you after four or more straight hours.
Best wishes,
Dominick O’Dierno
Rare Reply: That’s all very well, but the thing is, you see, Rare is now owned by Microsoft. Every argument you make is negated by that simple fact. Why don’t people seem able to get to grips with it? It’s eerily similar to the way they can’t accept the absence of PD push-button codes no matter how many times and how many different ways we say it.
Still, we appreciate your fervour (and that fact that given the choice between Perfect Dark and eating/sleeping you’d go for PD), and under different circumstances it’s true that we may well have brought PD Zero to the GameCube. However, Rare is now owned by Microsoft, and with a competing console in the marketplace, Microsoft isn’t likely to start releasing GameCube software any time soon. There’s not much more we can say. Except that we’ll make sure Julie in Reception keeps an oar under the desk from now on.
Hello Mypiots of the world!
Anyways, cutting right to the chase, I recently was browsing the internet and came across a lovely hoard of Banjo Pilot screenshots. After looking at these glorious pictures over I had a few questions about this title I needed asking.
Firstly, I have noticed that the characters are whizzing around in a slew of locations that resemble Banjo-Kazooie and Banjo-Tooie‘s worlds. I could have sworn I saw ones that resemble Hailfire Peaks and parts of Spiral Mountain. Are you fitting all those areas on that one tiny game pak?
Second question, the game seems to take place in 3-D enviroments (unlike Diddy Kong Pilot’s bland-looking landscape).
Is there going to be a “main hub” area in the game like there was in Diddy Kong Racing? That would be a neat touch instead of having miles of menu screens to wade through.
Lastly my final question of this letter, I’ve noticed Jolly Roger is playable in the game and that Tiptup is nowhere to be found. I’m near certain you guys have him as a secret character that can be unlocked sometime in the game…
Zinger II
“We tried to recreate certain levels from the previous Banjo games,” explain the GBA team, “and you are correct – both Hailfire Peaks and Spiral Mountain are actual race tracks. But there will be no hub, Banjo Pilot is just a pick-up-and-play racing game.” No concrete word on the inclusion of everyone’s favourite talentless turtle, but rest assured that “there are loads of hidden secrets to be unlocked, including new characters”. Whether or not that includes Roger Moore and Peter Andre, I couldn’t say.
Dear Scribes,
Hey, I was just wondering how much effort you’ll put into advertising Conker Live and Uncut? Because Bad Fur Day is my favorite game of all time and I’m gonna buy an Xbox just for Live and Uncut, but I’m worried if there will be any people to play against on Xbox Live in Europe! Hopefully it won’t release at the end of Xbox’s lifespan like Bad Fur Day did for the N64, I think that’s why Bad Fur Day didn’t do too well…
Bottom line: Please show the world this will be the coolest game ever made!!
A
It’s up to MS how much they want to set aside from the advertising coffers for each game, but from what we’ve heard so far we don’t think Conker’s latest expedition is going to go short of publicity. Hopefully we’ll be able to erect a raging shedload of new shots and info right here on the site just as soon as E3 trundles around.
Scribes,
hi ok you know when perfect darkcame out you let out cheats 4 goldeneye (had em all but 2 by the way) well i been playing pefect dark alot but the is some stuff that is to hard even 4 me like war on pefect or dark sim chalinges any chets or tips i need them o and 1 more thing whats going on about pd2 it said that you started it in 2001 in a n64 mag 4 game cube now your with x box but are you still making it coz i cant find any thing about it slip out a little imfo plz well bye your fav fan with goldeneye and pd
mark dark :]
Straight over to GoldenEye/PD Design & Sarcasm Central with this one, natch.
“Commendations on your achievements relating to the acquisition of rewards in GoldenEye, and commiserations on the disappointment you experienced during the recreational diversions of the subsequent release Perfect Dark. I am in no way susceptible to the delights of schadenfreude, I assure you; however, I must regretfully educate you as to the utter lack of the aforementioned cheats, passwords and codes pertaining to the latter game. During the cycle of development a conscious decision was enacted, unanimous amongst all participants in the manufacture of the game, not to include the shortcuts to which you allude. As already stated in only the last instalment of Scribes before this very one, the structure of the mission enablement system in Perfect Dark was such that the Quality Assurance departments of both Rare and Nintendo of America happily did not require the insertion of such pass codes for the furtherance and expedition of the Quality Assurance procedure, and we, the development staff associated with the product, were only too happy ourselves to fail most assiduously to include them.”
Dear Scribes,
Remember when “Arse” was all it took to get a letter posted? Now people have to go CONKER-GHOULIES-BANJO-PD0-KAMEO just to get recognition. But I don’t even want that. D. Wise is an effin genius and I think you should let him know. He’s the only reason I bought SFA, not that it didn’t turn out to be a decent game (but it would have been infinitely better if Nintendo didn’t shove Starfox and friends into the game).
When I was a wee lad of 13 or so I bought DKC and the music (yes the MUSIC) changed my life forever. I consequently bought the soundtracks to all three DKC games years later; it’s some of the greatest video game music ever written. I was just writing to see if you had a list or something of all Rare games that D. Wise has done music for. I know this letter wouldn’t get posted on its own, even if I went CONKER-GHOULIES-BANJO-PD0-KAMEO, but then again I don’t want it posted. I just want to know the D. Wise games, so I can go buy them! Eh, I don’t even want that, just go give him a pat on the back, and tell him that my band opens our shows with a rendition of Mainbrace Mayhem. Kthxbye.
Richard
You don’t want it posted? Want a personal reply, do you? Write to a company that’s got a 50-strong PR department, sunshine!
Dave says: “Well, there was Diddy Kong Racing, that did quite well. There are literally dozens of SNES, GBA, and NES products too, but, it was a long time ago. Thank you for your generous comments and how about sending us an MP3 of your band’s version of Mainbrace Mayhem?”
Dear Scribes,
I went out and bought Grabbed by the Ghoulies a couple of days ago completely on a whim. I was planning to pass it over, due to the rather mediocre reviews it received. But, the local EB Games was selling it cheap, and I dig cartoon-y monsters, so I figured, “What the heck, I’ll check it out.” I must say those reviews missed the mark completely. While I’m only at the beginning of Chapter 2, what I’ve seen so far shows off that trademark Rare creativity in spades. Bravo! It’s a beautiful game with a difficulty level that is challenging-but-not-impossible and some cool unlockables.
While I’ve got my lips firmly secured on your arse, this might be a good time to mention I think Conker’s Bad Fur Day on the Nintendo 64 is the absolute best game money can buy. I’m not just talking about the crude humour (which was great), but the way everything came together so perfectly: the varied gameplay; the difficulty level that was challenging but not frustrating (except for the Matrix sequence, but I’ll forgive that); the cutscenes that were long enough to be entertaining, but not so long that they became annoying. I played the game to completion three times before moving on, which is something no other game has inspired me to do. To this day, I tell everyone that the 90 bucks I spent on Conker was worth every penny. In the same breath I tell them the 20 bucks I spent on Metal Gear Solid was not. Needless to say, I’m looking forward to the release of Live and Uncut.”I’ll get me coat. AARGH! Jesus!”
That’s my piece. Ciao!
Armaan Khan, Cartoonist
If you found Chapter 1 “challenging-but-not-impossible”, I can’t wait to hear how you get on in Krackpot’s Lab. Cheers for the kind Ghoulies-related words, though (and I’m sure Kat would echo the sentiment as he rummages around in his wallet, cursing like a trooper). I’d have left the link to your site intact as thanks, if only I hadn’t found your cartoons to be peppered with disgusting swearwords – which I personally found most amusing, being a big fan of disgusting swearwords, but the mothers of any 7-year-olds reading the site probably wouldn’t.
90 bucks for Conker!? It gets madder and madder. And this must have been in the time before the exchange rate equated that to something like 35p, yes?
Dear Scribes,
Hey hey hey, first, I’d like to say that I love your games. Been there since SNES!!
But, I would like to know, when we’ll get some screens of Conker‘s new and improved single game? All the screens of the new Conker are from multiplayer.
It would be nice to see what would it looks like with the better graphics.
Sincerely,
Jiggywiggy Bob
E3. Again. Hopefully. The single-player mode may not be the main aspect of the game that we (or Microsoft) are aiming to push at this year’s modest little industry get-together, but it’s still looking very swish and worthy of a good-sized batch of screenshots, so we’ll try to round those up in time for the show. You never know, it might happen.
Dear Scribes,
A few questions:
1. What is prison like?
2. What’s up with Kameo? I don’t believe the RareWareGods have updated the information page on the game for a while, especially since at the bottom of the page it says that Kameo is still coming out “next year”. Does that mean we’re going to be waiting until 2005 for the game, or were you guys just being slack asses in leaving that last bit there on your site?
3. Give me a dollar.
JC
1) I only know what I’ve learned from Van Damme films, so as far as I’m aware it’s full of underground fighting tournaments, giant chained-up mutes and people who can fall into a furnace, climb back out – on fire – and carry on fighting. You can also add ‘loads of rappers’ to that list if we’re including reference material from Seagal films.
2) The intro will be updated and rewritten in time for E3, as is traditional. As for the date… um… pass.
3) Haven’t got one on me, sorry. Do you take proper money?
Dear Sirs (it seems courtesy hasn’t been tried yet as a ploy so here goes…)
Firstly a huge wave of thanks for reviving the Sabreman. Still playing it on train trips, the only thing being it’s a bit easy compared with the oldskool, perhaps different skill levels in future? Secondly I noticed an advert a few months ago for Nokia phone games one of which was called “Escape”. Due to the pause button on Sky+ I noticed it had the EXACT layout of Jetpac. I think your beer-fund must be doing better than you claim…
Finally don’t forget that most of us 30-somethings have more money than sense and are prepared to spend masses of it for a little UPTG nostalgia. My purchase of a Xbox is hinged on your future plans.
John Moseley (34 today)
PS. Any chance of a newsletter/email for people who register for updates?
Be fair, everything’s a bit easy compared to the original Sabre Wulf. And the team would agree: “We had to make Sabre Wulf much easier than the old version, as the kids today want to actually finish games, not just keep dying and playing the first level a thousand times.”
Are you any relation to Marillion’s drummer, even though your surname doesn’t actually have the same spelling?
PS Is there buggery.
Dear Ghoulies team,
Ha HA! A few days after the Tepid Seat, I get the sudden urge to go replay the game and ask a bunch of questions about it! I’m sure you’re all thrilled.
1. In the storybook illustration that opens Chapter 2, Ma Soupswill looks considerably different. Did an earlier design accidentally slip through?
2. Some keen-eared people have been able to deduce that Cooper’s various exclamations were provided by Steve Malpass (Fox in SFA, Elvis in PD). Is there anyone else who added to the vocals that we might recognize?
3. Regarding the plot twist right before the big fight with the Baron, which I will be polite and not spoil… It doesn’t fully add up. Why would the Baron essentially let and assist Cooper in decimating his horde of Ghoulies, defeat Dr. Krackpot, and get all the way to his room? Surely he wouldn’t have done all that just for fun.
4. And while I’m mentioning the not-so-good doctor… Why did his role end up being so insignificant? He seemed prominent enough in the early press releases and renders, yet he only gets a few FMV appearances in the actual game, and doesn’t even seem to have an actual in-game model. Was there going to be more with him, such as a boss fight, that was scrapped for various reasons?
5. You’ve already driven the fact in that a sequel seems unlikely… in that case, why did the ending give so many hints that things aren’t quite over? Did the team expect phenomenal sales?
6. Finally, what does Cooper see in Amber? Her chest? Her pink hair?
You can rest now.
Behonkiss
Time for one of those longer-than-the-original-mail Ghoulies team responses you love so much:
“1) What do you mean, she looks different? Are you saying there’s some kind of early model in there that we didn’t change or was she replaced by a huge fire-breathing dragon?
“2) Due to a lack of people claiming they’re any good at voices or being willing to subject themselves to repeating the same phrases all morning, our talent pool is somewhat limited. Yes, ‘Voice of Fox’ cropped up a few times, along with other stalwarts including artist Steve (Mummy/Zombie), artist Ed (Imp), programmer Dave (Ma Soupswill/Mr. Ribs) and of course, Grant the musician (loads of stuff).
“3) Yes, he did it all for fun. It gets very dull when you’re a wealthy eccentric aristocrat biplane wannabe, so you have to create elaborate means of entertainment. Mindless minions and deranged doctors are so cheap to come by these days so losing a few hundred doesn’t really matter that much.
“4) Ah, yes – you noticed. The doctor was originally intended to be a boss, but that’s only half of the story. Strapped to the central table in his lab was supposed to be Krankenstein, the doctor’s version of the famous stitched-together monster. Krankenstein was to get up from the table and attack the player, with the doctor joining in once his creation was defeated. But it never happened… sob.
“5) Like all good B-movies, there always has to be a chance of a sequel. So we leave the door open just in case. No ‘Bobby in the shower, it’s all a dream’ for us, you know.
“6) No, actually Cooper likes the fact that she carries the backpack. How did you know Amber has a particularly fine chest? It’s a roll top Elizabethan piece made from mahogany that she keeps at home.”
Dear Scribes,
First off, here’s a little RPA I did of the cross-section of a Tediz sub. Watcha think?
In the last Scribes you admitted you were still unsure about the whole word censoring thing – whether to have the animated letter and beep system from CBFD, or have it totally uncensored. As a huge Rare and Conker fan, I reckon you should keep the original way. I’m not against swearing or anything (if I was that tight I wouldn’t have liked the game, see?) I just reckon it’s much funnier to have cute squirrels swearing furiously enough to need beeps. We all know what words they’re using anyway, so why not go the comical way and have the skulls and lightning bolts in the texts? You’d be making the first ever online game where you could hear gunfire, explosions, mild swearing AND beeping at the same time!
Wouldn’t that just be comedy gold?
Brok Power
Like the sub. Simultaneously the most suitable and impractical thing ever. And the handbag’s a nice touch – would have made a nice melee weapon if we’d thought of it sooner.
As far as I know the Conker swearing thing still hasn’t been fully resolved, but if the general plan at the moment is anything to go by, nobody should be too disappointed at the end of the day. Can’t say much more than that, partly because it might still change and partly because I’m even irritating myself by being so vague.
Dear Scribes,
I recently saw a copy of Banjo Kazooie: Grunty’s Revenge for the GBA in an airport store. Stifling my emotions and trying to keep my heartbeat under control I swiftly moved to the GC section with credit card at the ready to purchase the full console version… Nothing there!
Asked the salesguy – didn’t know… didn’t care!
So, I see from your website that you are developing only for the GBA.
Is there any chance that you will develop something for one of the proper consoles (even if it isn’t the GC) rather than just a handheld?
Thanks in advance,
Robert
I assume you mean something specifically Banjo-related, considering we’ve already released one unrelated game for the Xbox with several more in development. Yes, Grunty’s Revenge was a standalone GBA title, not tied in to a full-blown console release – that’s not a crime, is it? None of our other GBA games have been produced solely as support material for bigger-budget Xbox versions either. But if it’s a next-gen Banjo game you’re looking for, the odds aren’t bad – it’s one of Rare’s big franchises, so it’s highly likely to pop up again in the future. We’re just not saying when. As usual. You should come here more often, then you could watch us failing to be specific until the cows come home.
Dear Scribey boys,
It’s me again. This time, I have some questions regarding your work on the upcoming DKC2 port for GBA. And you best answer them or my friend Jerry the Crazy Hobo will force you to answer them!
1. Any word on whether or not the bosses of DKC2 GBA will be anything like the DKC1 GBA bosses and actually have different attack methods from the ones they had in the SNES version?
2. What about Wrinkly Kong? She died and became a ghost in DK64. Is she going to look that way in this? I’m guessing not since you blokes are known for keeping in with continuity but you never can tell.
3. Are we actually going to get the ability to FIGHT Klubba? Or is he just gonna whack us away every time we choose that option again?
4. Lastly and most importantly, we’re not gonna get any “Get all Kremkoins easily” trick in this one again are we? Make the cheaters WORK for their rewards I say.
That’s all I have to ask this time.
Ness554
1) Team! “Most of the bosses will remain the same, but there is one new boss to contend with.” Woo! Yay!
2) Team! “As DKC2 is set before DK64, she is still fighting fit.” Obviously, Ness, you idiot.
3) Team! “Klubba now has his own minigame.” Woo! Yay!
4) Team! “??” Oh.
Dear Scribes,
You’ll have to edit sh*tloads of this out most probably as it’s 3:20AM and I’m delaying the onslaught of depression that comes with the waking nightmare of having no drive to pass my University first year. On a lighter note! I dug my Commodore 64 out of the loft the other day, as I’m going through quite a retro hit (SNES, Amiga, Speccy… erm… Panasonic 3DO… cough), and behold! Dragonskulle! One of the games from when I was a lad which is forever imprinted onto my frontal lobes. The viewpoint, the graphics, the sounds, the random crashes of rusty machinery… ahh, just as I remembered it. But what I’d forgotten: Jesus Christ it’s hard. Were we genuinely better at games ‘back in the day’? Have we gone soft? Has the average schmoe in the street made you drop the difficulty otherwise they’ll “NEVER BUY YOUR SOFTWARE AGAIN!!!!11111oneone”? Everything I’ve played has been bloody hard compared to modern games. I’m fully aware that taking out insta-death beyond-your-control moments, as common in ‘old games’, is a great thing to do, but apart from that they just seemed rather more challenging as a whole. Any musings from you lot? And does anyone who worked on Dragonskulle still work at Rare? If so, if they could send me a map or something I’d be happy. By the way, that idiot who said Donkey Konga looked rubbish is – you guessed it – an idiot. I bought it on import and have to say it’s one of the best games I’ve played in ages. It does what every game should do on the basic levels: gets you directly involved with the experience from the word go, and keeps you coming back for one more shot at that song you cocked up the b*stard-hard middle section on. It’s cracking fun, and all the tunes are top notch. Great party game if you get a few sets of bongos together as well; and trying to do the Mario theme on the hardest difficulty setting is fantastic fun.
Regards,
Nick
Ah, the old difficulty chestnut. Remember all the protests we got about the difficulty of Jetpac when it was included in DK64? And Jetpac was actually one of the easier Ultimate games (as mentioned in a previous letter, you had to have ninja reflexes and infinite patience to finish the original Sabre Wulf). It just comes down to what you’re used to, though. A lot of the toughness of older games was rooted in technical restrictions, and people accepted that because it was just the way things were. These days the combination of much bigger teams, higher production values and strenuous testing (i.e. more than just the programmer’s mate one Sunday afternoon) pretty much cuts all that out, and games considered ‘difficult’ are generally more complicated than out-and-out hard – though of course there are still exceptions.
As for Donkey Konga, no doubt I’ll be getting my arse kicked at it by five-year-olds when it’s released over here. What I need is a new Track and Field sort of game, as I’ve sussed out that they’ve yet to develop a capacity for button-mashing at that age, whereas I am tEh SUPaR~mASH L0RD#!!!1
Great Caesar’s Ghost,
Okay, okay… I’ll cut the small talk. Banjo Pilot has caused me to mess myself. I thought the GBA version of Donkey Kong Country 2 looked amazing, and then when THQ finally gives us Banjo Pilot shots… wow. Honestly, out of all your talking animal franchises, I was least excited about Banjo’s world until now. This has totally got my taste buds revved up for it again, and for video games in general.
A quick question and compliment though: Jolly Roger? How did you decide to make him a playable character? Out of everyone in the Banjo world (Tiptup, Boggy, Conga, Master Jiggywiggy, Officer Unogopaz… the thing with the googly eyes… that… thirsty tree…) why did you decide to give a playable role to Jolly Roger? Not that I mind. There’s quite a civil rights movement going on in the U.S. right now, with homosexual couples demanding the same marriage rights everyone else gets (and then get annulled after the drunken stupor wears off). Homosexuality is finally coming into the mainstream, and I applaud Rare for turning the spotlight on Jolly Roger, everyone’s favorite openly out bartender. Ten years from now, Banjo Pilot will be seen as a cultural milestone in portable gaming for gay frogs everywhere. Bravo gentleman.
Slush
P.S. I still call you “Rareware,” and there’s nothing you can do to stop me. Haw haw haw!
The team clearly sense an element of sarcasm lurking beneath your words. “We can’t win,” they complain. “Whatever characters we put in, someone would moan about it. Anyway, what the hell is wrong with Jolly Roger?” Exactly. At least he’s got proper arms and legs. Who did you want to see attempting to steer a plane – Leaky? Weldar? Lord Woo Fak Fak? One of those hoofing great clams?
Folks, Folks, Folks,
A thought crossed my mind today, fleeting in-between memories of my sullied past and visions of my own mortality: didn’t you lot have an open poll up regarding Rare merchandise a while back? Whatever happened to that, eh? I can’t even recall whether it was on “Rarewhere”, “Video Game Developers Rare Ltd.”, or the current “Welcome to Rare”. Regardless, what’s the deal? Are you ever going to crank out Mr. Ribs PEZ-dispensers, or did the Microsoft deal throw a wrench in the works?
Oh – I caught a video of Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s DKC4 Development Hindrance for the ol’ GBA, and I really have to compliment your team. It really truly looks like a widescreen version of the SNES game, and seems to sound just as good. Amazing stuff. Looking forward to playing this game takes me back to 1995, before my entire existence was one huge failed attempt at getting laid.
Chad McCanna
P.S. Ted the Boatbuilder from Conker’s Pocket Tales. I just had to throw that out. You understand.
Rather than throwing a ‘wrench’ (I think you’ll find it’s a ‘spanner’) in the works, the MS deal probably improved the chances of merchandise appearing somewhere down the line. Though that’s not to say we’re all sitting here sewing together exclusive Mrs. Pie baseball caps as we speak. But we’ll keep you informed. And as for DKC2, even though – let’s face it – you DK Vine veterans never really left 1995, we’re sure the shiny new GBA version will have plenty to tickle your finely-tuned monkey sensibilities.
PS Let it go. It’ll consume you.
Hey Scribes,
I’ve had Banjo-Kazooie and Banjo-Tooie for quite some time now. But there are a couple of questions I’ve wanted to know:
1. Where did Tooty run off to?Toot. Toot. Toot… toot. Feel the character development.
2. Does Klungo have any children?
3. Banjo and Tooty live in the same house, but Banjo is seen sleeping in one bed, does Tooty sleep with Mr. Goldfish or in the fireplace?
Should we expect a return of Tooty in the next and rumored “BANJO-THREEIE” or will she be changed into a sexy woman in Conker: Live & Uncut for Conker to oogle his acorns at?
Phil
Thrown crazily out to the Banjo team:
“1) She went to pick Collywobbles, Bawls and Toppers. I bet you’re none the wiser now, are you?
“2) In the absence of horrendously ugly, hunchbacked female minions – no.
“3) Err, we didn’t really think Banjo’s house through too well, did we? I know, let’s say there are a number of secret bedrooms hidden behind the fireplace, where Banjo, Kazooie and Tooty have a ROOM EACH. The front room is just for show for the benefit of the players.
“Why would a squirrel be interested in eyeing up a bear? That’s sick, that is.”
Dear Scribalicious Scribejivin McScribe-Scribes,
This isn’t really game-related but I felt I should share this regardless. I’m a graphic design student, sophomore in college over here in the States. One of my classes saw me assigned to do a book cover for Gulliver’s Travels. (Yippee. yawn) So the whole class is working on the assignment in the lab. I had Mr. Pants drawn in as a placeholder for the picture of Swift on the backside of mine. As I’m working on the rest of it, I notice the professor had stopped behind my computer. He was just kinda staring at my screen with a sort of dumbfounded look when he asked me what the heck that was. So I proceeded to tell him of Mr. Pants and how he’s the greatest thing to happen to the internet ever. He thinks it’s the most amusing thing he’s ever seen and offers me bonus points if I make a 13 x 19 poster with Mr. Pants on it. So I accepted.
I piddled around tonight and made the thing. It’s fairly nice. Here’s a small version:
http://sandbox.mc.edu/~mcwillia/pantsbond.jpg
And here’s a zipped up full-size .psd version:
http://sandbox.mc.edu/~mcwillia/pants.zip
I figured I’d share it since it’s probably the biggest RPA that’s ever been sent in, and also in celebration of the forthcoming It’s Mr. Pants (please please please give us screenshots). And yes I know the shadows aren’t right, but it just looked better that way.
ButtocksMcRear
You had Mr. Pants drawn on your backside? Good Lord. (Actually, RPAs of Pants tattoos could be the next big thing. Go for it! Rare does not accept responsibility for injuries sustained etc.)
Anyway, proof aplenty here that Graphic Design isn’t a proper subject – its teachers think Mr. Pants is “the most amusing thing they’ve ever seen”, surely indicative of some kind of mental shortcoming. Nice poster, though. I’m not linking directly to it because only one of the characters featured is actually ours, meaning it’s probably best to maintain a healthy distance, but nice work all the same. My indirect contribution to your career is surely worth a 25% cut of your salary when you get your first job.
Ey up Scribes!
One thing I’ve always wanted to know is where Tooty was in Banjo-Tooie. Apart from being the big star on the side of a milk carton, she was nowhere to be found. So, I thought I could come up with my own solution to where she was – filming a live action TV series called Conker’s Angels. It only lasted one episode, but I’ve managed to find a script and everything. You can find the whole thing here.
From someone looking for a job
After reading that, I feel you’re at least qualified to write a new series of Nash Bridges. Let’s see what the Tooie team leader thinks.
“A fine piece of narrative, only let down by Tooty saying ‘E Gad what is that!’ Only really old blokes from centuries gone by say that. But did you ever consider that Tooty may have drowned in Spiral Mountain’s moat? She couldn’t possibly star in your series then, could she? She could have also met a fiery end in the Furnace of Fun’s lava, having been pushed in by Banjo. Or been eaten by Klungo… She may even have tarted herself up a bit to try and score with a certain squirrel (so Phil hopes).”
Dear Welcome to Rare,
Just got a couple o’ music related questions. First off, any chance of us getting the Grabbed by the Ghoulies Theme Song in MP3 format? You know the one, the title with the “GRAAAABBED BY THE GHOUUUULIES” (chuckle chuckle, chuckle chuckle). Without the sound effects that you get from Demo Mode? Also, may I take this opportunity to ask who did the vocals for the song? Just curious. They’re not too bad. And finally, since Grabbed by the Ghoulies is already blatantly Satanic, if you played the music backwards, would it become holy and play “WOR-SHIP-JE-SUS”?
Aussie Ben
According to Grant, the vocals were done by a couple of the boys from the Music department, and he “layered it up to make it sound big”. He also reckons that if you play it backwards it says “send Grant fifty quid”, but I’m not sure about that bit.
You can worship Jesus/Lucifer with this MP3 right here.
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