Top 5 Extra Exploitable Rare Features (That Guarantee Unbridled Hilarity)
Hidden deep inside nearly every Rare title are programming quirks that yield interesting results when exploited. We’re not talking about glitches or bugs of course, but natural gameplay elements that can be abused to the point of hilarity – just like domestic abuse! Lacking any measurement of enjoyment in our squandered lives, we’ve abused the following features to relinquish hours of fun – or even minutes if you’ve got something better to do – resulting in countless laughs, wanning social skills and time well wasted to be sure.
These are the Top 5 Extra Exploitable Rare Features (That Guarantee Unbridled Hilarity).
#5. BOWL ‘EM OVER AND EXERCISE YOUR INNER PSYCHOPATH – KINECT SPORTS (XBOX 360)
While Boxing remains a popular choice for aspiring unstable psychopaths everywhere, a more sadistic escape is offered in the Bowling alley for the original Kinect Sports title. Exaggerating a few gutterball throws will allow you to escape the confines of your alley and whip the ball into the ostensibly terrified crowd. Each attempted murder is coupled with some oddly colorful commentary from the announcers, who decide to question your throwing style rather than mental stability. If it wasn’t enough to have each successful thud followed by a painful grunt or shrill scream from an injured spectator off-screen, your efforts will eventually find the bowling ball hitting a stray cat or large pane of glass to keep things lively. Are there any more hidden sound effects to be found? Put on this cozy straightjacket and find out for yourself!
#4. PHYSICS QUELL AT THE SIGHT OF THE CRAZY CASTLE STOCKADE – BANJO-TOOIE (N64)
True to the condemned parks nature, there isn’t a shred of fun to be had in WitchyWorld save for violent disregard for health and safety. If you can manage to enter the Crazy Castle Stockade and inflate the eponymous tent however, you’ll find an overtaxed physics engine sending the bear and bird higher with each consecutive bounce, the laws of the universe unraveling as the ursine-aviary tag team steadily accelerate. Strangely, the superior Bill Drill technique will slow the bouncing and reset your current cycle, but pounding Kazooie‘s face in with a standard Beak Buster will send the duo into the ceiling with predictably hilarious results. Send the old girl to the floor from this vantage point and see how many times you can fly from one end of the tent to the other at breakneck speed. Our personal best is seventeen.
#3. WHO GAVE ROGER RABBIT CEREBRAL HEMORRHAGING? – WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? (NES)
While it’s likely that GoldenEye 007 has made us bitter escorting Natalya into direct gunfire, the whole of Who Framed Roger Rabbit has us taking advantage of our indicted partner in tandem. You can force him into oncoming traffic, or let the vultures swoop down on him for a few seconds of Roger-free bliss. The best option of all however, is your ability to crank back your fist and punch the wise-cracking lagomorpha as hard as you can. Just blind-side him in the face relentlessly and you’ll find him bouncing about the room like a careening pinball. Or, take things outside and you can punch him so hard that he’ll fly off the screen onto the next block. Each time Roger will come springing back – likely to prevent voiding his parole – leaving you enough time to wind back and send him off the screen again and again.
#2. PREHISTORIC PYROMANIA ON DINOSAUR PLANET – STARFOX ADVENTURES (GAMECUBE)
Akin to the stalking hare in the previous entry, Starfox Adventures also features an exhaustive escort quest, wherein Fox will be forced to lead the insufferable Prince Tricky through Ice Mountain. Luckily, this current arrangement can be played into your favor if you call Tricky towards Fox while standing in front of a crackling flame. If you can have the daft dino rush through the flames, he’ll emerge on the other end with his backside on fire! Lead him around the snowy area if you’d like and try to get him to rush through the other campfires before he manages to extinguish himself. There’s nothing quite like the sight of the pint-sized triceratops trailing behind like an earthbound comet, while his only guardian and hope to reunite his family is only driven by the desire to send him through the flames again.
#1. TAKE A SEAT AND SPRING INTO ACTION – BANJO-KAZOOIE: NUTS & BOLTS (XBOX 360)
A Spring. A Seat. Go… Although its intended purpose is to provide some lift to bulky vehicles, the Spring vehicle part finds its true calling when unorthodoxly welded to a single seat wherein hilarity ensues. Strapping the bear and bird into this newfound contraption and triggering the Spring will therefore send them skyrocketing, screaming through the air as they sit helpless to control the action. Clear the whole of Spiral Mountain in a single bound, ricochet off the walls of Mumbo’s Garage or launch from the base of the Jiggoseum to the rafters in a matter of seconds – the possibilities are endless! The Spring-Seat is entirely as unpredictable as it is downright hysterical, and we admit to wasting away hours of our game time to send the bear and bird soaring helplessly into immediate peril at our discretion!
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