Top 5 Great Fiendish Rare Faces (For Traumatizing Children)

#4. INTENSE UPGRADE INCENTIVE – CONKER’S POCKET TALES (GAME BOY COLOR)

Released on a dual-format cartidge, Conker’s Pocket Tales was compatible with both original Game Boy and Game Boy Color with slightly different additions in either version. Color enthusiasts were rewarded with a more diverse palette and increased capacity for health, whereas those who were partial to the monochrome Game Boy would never play it again after watching its unique and truly terrifying introduction, which involved Conker reaching up pulling down the screen like a curtain, revealing his blank, lifeless stare. After a stale moment of silence provided for your existential crisis, Conker will follow the route of a butterfly that moves about the screen while you wordlessly beg for its escape. This reason alone should be enough for an upgrade, as the eyes have it – and by “it” we mean “have scarred us for life”.

#3. THE HOGS HEAD (IS TERRIFYING) – DIDDY KONG RACING (N64)

Originally seen as just a macabre carving in the side of Timber Island during the events of Diddy Kong Racing, the large hogs head begins to literally flesh out as you collect quarter pieces of the sought-after Wizpig Amulet. After you’ve managed to complete the entire Amulet you’ll be in for a treat when you watch your efforts come to fruition, as the large Wizpig bust springs to life and begins laughing in spite of everything you stand for. By treat we’re of course referring to the years of therapy that you’ll be forced to undergo, which will be understandably difficult as each Rorschach test will resemble the hogs head in some way. While this does provide an accessible route to the semi-final showdown with the big pig himself, we’re positive that its E rating should have been bumped up to at least a T for Terrifying.

#2. TAKING THE MICKEY OUT (OF ANYTHING SACRED) – MICKEY’S SPEEDWAY USA (N64)

With the previous Racing Adventure hardly providing an outlet for inducing fear – aside from Goofy‘s disproportionate frame – it was clear that Mickey and friends would have to step up their game to be considered in league with the likes of its predecessor Diddy Kong Racing. Thus the release of Mickey’s Speedway USA harbored an event so truly traumatizing that it was deemed unfit for public consumption and had to be buried in the games code. Well, there’s likely a more logical explanation, but until you’ve watched Mickey‘s dismembered head floating about the screen as it blinks unnaturally you’ll be steadfast to agree. Originally unearthed like Pandora’s box by horrified hackers as an unused asset, the floating Mickey head hides away in every copy of Speedway USA – just waiting…

#1. RESIDENTS OF SPIRAL MOUNTED – GRABBED BY THE GHOULIES (XBOX)

While everything might seem well and good for Banjo and Kazooie in their titular series, it seems that their ill fated demise has been the subject of many titles since. Conker’s Bad Fur Day was the first to suggest the idea that the Bear and Bird duo would find themselves mounted above a fire and used as the handle to an umbrella respectively, but it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Venturing into the Trophy Room in Grabbed by the Ghoulies will see Cooper braving many busts, but the ones that hit rather close to home resembled the Bear and Bird duo, albeit a tad deformed. If this wasn’t enough, the busts will randomly shriek at the hapless Cooper with a ghastly “Gu-Huh” and kreepy “Kaw” which takes our fond memories of the Bear and Bird and provides the wherewithal of an insomniac binge. Thanks Rare!

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