Top 5 Unluckiest Rare Characters
It couldn’t possibly get any worse, could it? You’ve just had a run-in with a black cat, stumbled under the ladder and shattered a mirror in what was possibly the strangest sequence of events since waking up in a dinosaur costume covered in peanut butter. You’ve got some bad luck ahead if you’re the superstitious sort, but perhaps you can have a bit of solace knowing that there are a number of Rare characters that act like lightning rods to pain and misfortune, the likes of which makes your bad fur day looks like the mildest Friday the 13th in recorded history. Join us as we act on a bit of serendipity and link the bad luck bunch together in what could possibly be the largest series of unfortunate events since the release of Grabbed by the Ghoulies. Throw the salt over your shoulder, spin around three times and chant the ancient mantra of Mumbo-Jumbo to rid yourself of evil spirits. These are the Top 5 Unluckiest Rare Characters.
#5. EXPENDABLE T.N.T. IMP TROOPERS – CONKER’S BAD FUR DAY (N64)
Waking up to find that someone has taken the liberty of grafted a massive barrel of explosives to your spine is just the worst, and it can put a huge damper on your general outlook. Just ask the TNT Imps of Conker’s Bad Fur Day who have found themselves drafted into the It’s War chapter of the squirrels sobering adventure. Starting off in a stall without any toilet roll, the TNT Imps are lead through an elaborate labyrinth of volatile spider mines and crushing threats from above. If the red squirrel can successfully guide the Imp through the pitfalls and the perils, he’ll trigger the massive barrel into exploding after lighting its end with a conker from afar. Meeting the bitter end after running out of bog roll, our heart goes out to these bombastic troopers.
#4. PUPNAPPED POSTCARD PLUTO – MICKEY’S SPEEDWAY USA (N64)
After Mickey’s pup, Pluto is stolen by a band of wisecracking weasels for his prized diamond collar in Mickey’s Speedway USA, things take a dark turn for the worst as Mickey begins receiving postcards that depict Pluto’s slow torture better than any ransom letter could hope to do. Each time the mouse and his friends manage to tail the weasels to the next location, he’ll receive a follow-up postcard depicting Pluto in even more peril than the last. Reach the end of the adventure and you’ll have a cross-country collection that shows Pluto trapped inside a tire and spun around against his will in Indianapolis, tied up to a cactus in the sweltering heat of New Mexico, frozen stiff after heading an ice sled in Alaska and left to lure in a crocodile while water-skiing in the Everglades just to name a few. How goes the tour of America, Pluto?
#3. GOBI THE ‘WATER-RETAINING BEAK BUSTER MAIMING’ CAMEL – BANJO-KAZOOIE (N64)
Somewhere in the vast plains of sand, a paranoid camel looks over his shoulder nervously for a bear and bird on the horizon – and for good reason as well! Having previously met the duo in the original Banjo-Kazooie adventure, the titular characters introduced themselves beak first into the camels back for a bit of water, and have been keeping it at it ever since. Turning his back on his own sandy domain, Gobi escaped into Click Clock Wood only to have the duo track him down and reduce him to watering duties once more. Clearly fed up with their antics, Gobi made a beeline for the sequel, Banjo-Tooie, only to have the pair stalk him to Hail-Fire Peaks where a hasty reunion would see them exchanging drilling bills for handshakes. His absence in Nuts & Bolts means that he’s become excellent at evading the bear and bird, or he’s died.
#2. AMBER AFFLICTED – GRABBED BY THE GHOULIES (XBOX)
Epitomizing the damsel-in-distress, Coopers girlfriend Amber can also be seen as a walking plague of misfortune and rotten luck. Finding herself captured at the start of Grabbed by the Ghoulies, our hapless heroine only finds herself deeper and deeper into trouble as Cooper‘s quest continues. Bound to a chair, Amber is placed unwittingly on a revolving fireplace, and efforts to escape are somewhat complicated when she jumps onto a hidden trapdoor which sends her tumbling down into the Ghoulhaven Archives. Their eventual reunion is cut short as a menacing Dr. Krackpot decides to test his Ghoulification Ray, which turns Amber into a repulsive Ghouly in the process. Deciding to up the ante himself, Cooper‘s potential cure to turn Amber back goes awry and turns her even uglier instead. The girl just can’t get a break!
#1. ROYSTEN THE DOOMED GOLDFISH – BANJO-KAZOOIE (N64)
Left to his own devices in the original Banjo-Kazooie adventure, Roysten the goldfish finds himself safe and sound in Banjo‘s house, left to tap his head fruitlessly against the bowl for what seems an eternity. If you can reach the end of the game however, you’ll find that Roysten‘s luck takes a turn for the worst when he’s popped on the barbecue and grilled up by resident shaman Mumbo-Jumbo. Surviving the dinner party only when it’s crashed, Roysten is returned to his bowl where he’d wait for the worst to come in Banjo-Tooie. With Banjo‘s house blasted to bits at the start of the sequel, Roysten had managed to find himself trapped underneath a massive boulder in Spiral Mountain. Even after rescuing the fish from certain doom however, he’s found himself on the menu once more as dinner for Bottles at the end of the game.
Categories: Top 5 Lists
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