Top 5 Sadistic Side-Scrolling Segments

#4. THE THIEVES GUILD GAUNTLET – WIZARDS & WARRIORS III: KURO’S: VISIONS OF POWER (NES)

After Malkil‘s return heralds thrice in the final Wizards & Warriors title, Kuros is tasked with befriending the esteemed guilds around Piedup if he hopes to match wits with his nemesis. Unfortunately, mastering the Thieves Guild may prove nigh impossible if you lack the abilities of premonition, masochism and sheer blind luck, especially on the Gold and Silver difficulties. If you’re hard-pressed to test your mettle however, you’ll be tasked with traversing a narrow passage filled with unpredictable platforms, teleporting door puzzles and flying projectiles. If this wasn’t enough, the entire segment scrolls automatically, forcing you to take blind jumps lest you’ll be left behind. The floor is also lined with a sea of spikes, which will force you to restart the entire gauntlet if you manage to fall in even once! No pressure though!

#3. SNOW BARREL BLAST BLIZZARD – DONKEY KONG COUNTRY (SNES)

Braving the Jungle canopies and nautical nonsense, Donkey and Diddy Kong ascend toward the peak of Gorilla Glacier where they’ll sacrifice all their lives by slip sliding into icy chasms and mountain ridges. If degenerated traction wasn’t enough to send the duo spiraling below, delayed reaction from the slick surface will have you jilting your jumps and losing your landings. Venturing out into Snow Barrel Blast during an intense blizzard wasn’t the best idea either, with the hailing wind and thick flurry of snow slowly building as you progress through the level, which make things a tad difficult to see. Luckily there’s a hidden blast barrel set to complete the latter half of the flurious developments, though arriving at said barrel is a quest all its own with a seasoned blast course determined to send you back down the mountain.

#2. HERO KLUNGO SSSAVESSS TEH UNIVERSSSE – BANJO-KAZOOIE: NUTS & BOLTS (XBOX 360)

While Klungo‘s previous efforts in modest release Klungo Sssavesss Teh World may have earned him a spot on our Top 5 Most Difficult Achievements list, it doesn’t hold a candle to his follow-up Klungo Sssavesss Teh Universsse found in the L.O.G’s Lost Challenges DLC. Increasing the challenge of its predecessor considerably, this outing arms Klungo with a single-shot pistol that he’ll need to dispatch his enemies with, and new fangled powerups including a skateboard that is much too fast for its own good. If you can manage to master the new powerups you’ll get to experience things from a new perspective when gravity is altered, forcing Klungo to race about on the ceiling, offering new puzzles and frustrating ways to meet your demise. Akin to the previous title, one mistake will have you restarting the entire level.

#1. TURBO TUNNEL TURMOIL – BATTLETOADS IN BATTLEMANIACS (SNES)

While even the most hardened gamers are quick to hark back to the original Turbo Tunnel section as the most frustrating challenge they’ve found in their NES library, the original Battletoads adventure has some heady competition with its spiritual sequel, Battletoads in Battlemaniacs on the SNES. Bringing back the nightmares and suppressed rage in glorious high definition that only 16 bit graphics can deliver, players would once again accelerate down the narrow strip, avoiding haphazardly placed obstacles at blistering speeds. If the first title in the series wasn’t enough to ward players off, beating the previous tunnel would hardly do you any better, as the trek was littered with new hurdles that even hardened Battletoads veterans would run headlong into with their delayed reaction time. It truly is the tunnel of nightmares…

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